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I just want everything to suck like it used to do. Wouldn’t normal be nice? At the least, we should try to get conditions as close as possible during this aggravatingly pointless existence. If you’re on the road to Hell, stop once it feels warm. Confused humans somehow concluded politics are the one ingredient separating us from utopia. America is awful and needs American government to fix it.

Constantly thinking about who the president sure has been healthy. Haven’t you noticed how happy everyone seems? No, you shut your whore mouth. Waking up and wondering what monstrosity has been inflicted…


Identifying the souls of parties is tricky since they’re soulless entities. It’s not quite the height of cynicism to note those competing for elections are interested in winning them. But each of the two viable regrettable tribes faces a respective identity crisis. They’re jerks either way.

Those addicted to awful platforms can’t quit. As for the disloyal opposition, they still prefer a person over ideas. The worst part is same person’s identity. Republicans are unable to give up on longtime Democrat and oft-liberal Donald Trump. He still could serve a presidential term for some baffling and horrid reason. …


Telling other people they’re oppressed is easier if one contributes to said oppression. Munchausen by proxy is a popular disorder amongst those trying to self-fulfill a prophecy. Professional grievance-mongers look for any example they can of why life is awful before wondering why they’re miserable. To cope, they end up trying to make others feel the same. That’s one way to share a communal burden.

Nobody knows racism like white liberals, which is why they inform minorities how awful their lives are. It’s totally not patronizing how they black people as needing special treatment and protection. …


Sanctimony comes right to your door. A year of relying on Amazon has shown how dreadful the ether bookseller has become. Distrust goes beyond natural contempt brought by marriage-style familiarity. A heartless amalgamation is unnerving for how invasive it strives to be. Your sole source of sustaining goods treats Rollerball as a documentary. You shouldn’t buy DVDs of dystopian warning for their site only in part because you’d be contributing toward making dull paranoid fantasies true.

Wishing it could be avoided is a sure sign a company pleases customers. Virtue signaling is what they sell best. Take commercials which may…


Hand it over to help. It’s not a request. Truly caring about fellow humans requires a bit of compulsion, according to those who prefer bossing all citizens instead of just employees. Express love by seizing stuff from those who’ve managed to compile it in high quantity before giving it to others. Jealousy hurts society quite a bit for those who claim to care about the collective.

A tax hike is how you show you want others to make so much that they have to pay more. Someone has to be billed for delightful programs that do everything but program delight…


The majority cramming through whatever it wants is bound to bring progress, at least if you define it as forcing irreversible bossy federal programs that ruin budgets and lives. The filibuster respects the rights of those who do not hold power, which you’d think would be the coolest thing liberals ever encountered. But they’ve decided any chicane on the socialism speedway is to be excised. Wait until they realize how slowly they’re going.

Sliming the filibuster is the trendiest form of appreciating America via loathing everything that makes it so. Tapping the brakes is crucial to the functioning of society…


One can never stop government from spending or controlling. Be thankful for blessings. Without the eternal creep of benevolent authority into our previously benighted lives, silly humans would be spending what we greedily considered our own money or foolishly attempting to make unsupervised decisions. Our lucky break is reflected by the semipermanent erosion of what the more stubborn amongst us refer to as rights.

We’re bravely never going back to that hellish apocalyptic landscape where Washington only incinerated less than a trillion dollars more annually than it confiscated. Society must move forward, which in this case means beating inflation at…


Unlocking lockdowns has been most celebrated by those who inflicted pointless restrictions on liberty in the first place while acting like they preserved life itself. Authorities will never suspect someone who called the tip line. There are better ways to appreciate what we have than taking it away. Getting back to how life is supposed to be is joyous except for how inflicting pain didn’t heal.

Appreciation can be misguided. The unsettling tone of many who are seeing other humans again implies they think rights they’ve always held have been returned. Pretending the freedom to congregate and work was granted…


No: the other part of government is awful. Stop letting that one agency run your life. Noting who liberals trust shows their capricious desire to be controlled is about as logical as everything else they believe. They think they’re being complimented.

Total obsequiousness is accompanied by an asterisk. The state’s power to dominate without dissent varies like the left’s opinion of the Supreme Court’s validity. Five glorified lawyers getting to decide our nation’s course is cool if the latest ruling keeps uncooperative Americans from interacting freely. Authority is awesome depending on their personal interests. …


Unseen costs are the most expensive. That ironic economic trick seems mean enough that we should get a Ouija board and ask Adam Smith what’s up. But invisible burdens weighing down wallets are the only way anyone pays attention to an otherwise endless bill. Politicians proclaiming what you use is free sure creates a lot of debt. Enjoy a timeshare lunch that prospective rubes can’t decline.

Just put it on the tab. Pushing off payment to later means getting things now for free. And nobody seems to be calling us on our rather luxurious spending, so order more mimosas now…

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