Alpha Mailed

Donald Trump is a terrible person. He thinks he’s being complimented. An ’80s movie villain without the charisma of James Spader thinks he’s a bad boy, and he’s right in a certain sense. He’ll never grasp which one. Unpleasantness isn’t a virtue even if treated as such by pigeons too obnoxious to be pitied. Principles remain unchanged unless your surly messiah says last week’s ally is now a loser.

Nothing embodies rugged masculinity like petty insults over refusal to kneel before him with sufficient vigor. Wholesale compliance is crucial to being an alpha. Ask slavish voters who think he’s awesome precisely because he’s disagreeable.

A wholly inverted take on every life aspect makes them more miserable whenever they get what they want. That sounds delightful. But Trump inflicts what he wants on people with decent taste whether they oppose hideous black glass on the skyline or an appalling presidential choice.

Trump may be repellant, but at least he’s ineffective. He creates the best of both worlds otherwise. The perpetual presidential hopeful has rather paltry accomplishments for someone who proclaims to have the most of all. If you’re going to be that repulsive, at least achieve something noteworthy. Seducing a commandeered party doesn’t count.

Never has someone sold more garbage to more fools. He told you he was the world record holder. The only consolation is by what percentage he lies about his persona, who’s surely an awesome guy.

Impressing marks as well as himself doesn’t alter actuality. It would be far more stunning to create an item astute humans wanted, but real effective businessmen don’t need something insignificant like products.

Winning at elections treated as a success in itself by political devotees who don’t trust humans to perform useful tasks without mandates. I am starting to wonder after a couple of atrocious consecutive presidents if obtaining 270 electoral votes means the person who does so is qualified.

Obama-style gloating shows the wrong kind of bipartisanship. A different cult style features the same membership style. Debt will never decrease as long as we elect Democrats or the one alleged Republican who calls every conservative a RINO.

Every single aspect is untethered from context. Loyalty, winning, power, strength: Trump and his lackeys value anything they think makes them dominant. The fact they’re submissive bitches just spreads misery further.

A wholesale misinterpretation of what constitutes triumph is preferred by those who don’t care for subtleties like persuasion. The lifelong obsession with claiming others are weak is surely not projection. Foes of nastiness as a virtue only point out difficulty in maintaining principles or completing pushups.

Trump admires aspects that bring might without the context of morality. Worst, he owns none of these things. The embodiment of cravenness also summarizes overcompensation. A psychiatrist would have an easy time with the biggest mental patient ever to serve as executive spread over several terms of regular sessions. The diagnosis is as simple as the patient is stubborn. A clown pitchman is genuinely nasty even when doing so as shtick, which is as close as Trump gets to authentic.

None of this is funny. Invective is presented as dully as possible. Crude nicknames are misinterpreted as laughs by the same zealots who think making preposterous opening demands during a negotiation will flummox an enemy. Trump has never once said anything humoerous. He’s more likely to sell a useful good. Fans of rather broad comedy crave the comfort of American Pie-style outrageous situations that substitute for worthwhile material. Trying to shock is for people who can’t write jokes.

The misfortune of encountering a Trump fan on social media neatly encapsulates the savior’s career. The most malleably hateful are shockingly lousy at insults, which is especially pathetic considering how much practice they have. Zombified recruits are acting like their idol, which is praise in the same sense that holding meetings in Atlantic City would provide plenty of elbow room. Alpha males who copy the scuzzy behavior of their real fake hero are funny in a way they naturally don’t grasp.

Pointing out the obvious isn’t itself an obvious thing to do. As example number one, people who’ve never announced on Facebook to avoid friend requests as a result of being hacked need more lectures about how phony a human trying to con them can be. Trump’s greatest political asset aside from suckering dupes is exploiting their unwillingness to learn.

Anyone who thinks the prototypical jerk is a high achiever believes every other bit of nonsense he announced, too. Exhausted documentarians of scumbag behavior shouldn’t have to note in 2024 what was clear in 1984. The latter earlier year doubles as the titles of yet another book he’s never read even though he’s an expert on doing the opposite of what’s said.

Moving past thinking an arrogant prick is terrific at getting worthwhile things done would be a welcome development in human progress. Boomers won’t take a single step.

A long history of doing the precise opposite of what he claims is tiresomely irrelevant to worshipers who take him at his word. The scuzziest religion also reflects the most obvious political push, which is quite odd for the self-proclaimed outsider.

Blatancy is an asset, at least for those who insist upon getting tricked. Timeshare owners who endured a freaking presidential term of his ineffective awfulness and still think acting like a horse’s ass gets things done. It’s true if ripping them off counts.