Bank on Failure

Anthony Bialy
4 min readMar 16, 2023

That feeling of depression may soon be capitalized. Citizens certainly don’t seem happy despite being assured the government banned woe and offers guarantees even when it still occurs. Adding failing banks for atmosphere sums up the Joe Biden era as well as running out of gasoline on the way to buy an egg. The machine ate the ATM card and everything else.

Don’t worry about money disappearing, as any of it handed to the bank for safe watching has been secured. Now, securers will make it worthless. The system of insuring funds if mercantile depositories screw up doesn’t quite seem to deter them from doing so for some reason. We’ll have to wait until tomorrow to once again try to learn consequences.

Customers being aware of where their bills go is too much to ask, according to the loving parental figures who set our curfew and dole out our allowance. You couldn’t just patronize an institution that had sufficient insurance in addition to unchained pens to steal in the lobby. Government will take care of it. For the record, that’s the same government that oversaw the collapse.

Your checking account sponsors just need to print more cash. Don’t they know how Democrats fix the budget? You’d think currency warehouses might monitor fiscal news.

The federal behemoth is way smarter than some company that exploits by offering services to customers who can choose which outlet seems the most reliable. Remove competition for benevolent efficiency. Banks would never act recklessly knowing taxpayers will be forced to pick up the tab if they go the way of Blockbuster. Dim conglomerates don’t just go into more debt when their schemes fail.

A figurative train wreck accompanies numerous literal ones. The rails have been busted for a couple years. The predictability of financial morass exacerbates broken fear.

Everyone is rich, which is why everything is so expensive. The actual term is costly. This White House is as imprecise with synonyms as everything else. Trying to make people wealthy without creating it is precisely the sort of solution expected from useless politicians who can’t imagine another way. How would a person ever generate value?

Banks struggle with banking. A ghastly pecuniary environment wasn’t punishment enough. There’s nothing Democrats adore like demonizing those who cope with their wretched policies. Connoisseurs of phony empathy pretending to care about others achieve the precise opposite. It brings to mind wrecking the economy they claim to fix.

Individual responsibility is only cool to bullying authorities when it’s other individuals facing the aftermath of irresponsibility. Passing along blame is like excusing away shoplifting while police are handcuffed as perpetrators spew sob stories about feeding starving families during coincidentally rotten times. Oh: they do that, too.

The interest rate bonanza wasn’t as fun as advertised. It turns out their increase may be bad. I thought high percentages were favorable, but that only applies to certain categories like growth. All this money business sure is confusing.

A bad kind of increase is a response to inflation, which by uncanny coincidence kicked into high gear when Biden got what he wanted. Corporations despise America’s Grandpa so much that they subdued greed until after his inauguration.

It’s clearly not Biden’s fault that everything broke in multiple ways upon his ascendancy to the final office for which he’s unqualified. The lack of blame explains why he’s fleeing questions about troubled accounting like it’s Afghanistan.

The only thing worse than the incumbent ducking the media is him facing them. A lifetime politician who spent most of those very useful hours in the chamber noted for discourse can only stammer about how mean Republicans wanted to remove regulations. Meanwhile, every quasi-legal harassment remains in place. Control freaks will claim there’s still too much liberty left, which is the millionth example of liberalism failing because more autonomy needed to be confiscated.

Who’s in charge here? Those presiding over foundational disintegration blame the predecessor. Executive minions might not have answers as to why everyone suddenly can’t afford anything, but they sure got talking points in order. Kvetching about relaxed regulations from the mean previous tycoon from that other party gives him imaginary power he wish he maintained.

The current office-filler is more than halfway through his term, which is a surprise to him. Based on the precedent of blaming the predecessor, Biden can’t be a good president until he’s out of office.

A president born just after the most prominent downturn indulged in the icky sort of nostalgia. Fibbing about what drags down hopes of ever filling a pantry comes naturally to those who artificially restrict the mildest optimism.

Change specialists know they can screw up. Give credit to bailouts from the same entity that imposed onerous austerity. Test subjects naturally react to incentives imposed by a regime that discourages noticing them. Perverse federal tampering causing chaos is naturally exploited as a pretense to impose more. How else are we going to fix this?

Sand castles are more durable than Biden’s concrete notions. Uninhibited markets must be to blame, declare its foes who constantly interdict on voluntary mutual exchange. The chance to invest without trepidation uncannily disappears when consumer options vanish. Atrocious notions will persist long after the memorable pain of a forgettable term. It’s nice to leave a legacy.