Biden Seeks More Inflation

Anthony Bialy
4 min readApr 27, 2023

A president who can’t walk straight is running again. Joe Biden will get a staffer to fasten his Velcro before taking off. The White House fence keeps him from wandering off as much as it protects residents.

Biden can sound foolish without reading aloud. An incumbent who is best served when he’s prevented from speaking can’t even sound smart when lickspittles write his words. There’s a chance to review text before tweeting, which executive minions think they’re too smart to exercise. The account posting under his name proclaiming a desire to “finish the job” serves as the most unintentionally hilarious phrasing in recent political memory. A vague threat of a promise is perfect in its way. Inadvertency is the only time the present branch-sitter helps.

Laughing at the announcement is one of the few moments of levity during a heavy presidency. Arrogant dolts who’ve dedicated their lives to politics can’t manage to craft a message that inspires ungrateful peasants. Some lame company that sinks to pleasing customers would ask a focus group about that slogan then wonder why there’s so much giggling. But experts on life itself don’t need to do anything undignified like interact with the real world, which is why they entered politics.

Warning of the devastation that a successful campaign would bring is precisely the sort of ineptness that anyone who’s spent a moment outside of a Democratic regime would expect. Failing to realize how bad the performance appears is called the Pete Buttigieg effect. You know who to vote for if you don’t wish to return to a dull era where trains stayed on tracks.

Biden is older than the Slinky. There’s no spring in our steps. A man geezers call hoary would be 86 during his replacement’s inauguration. That’s presuming the second term isn’t such a delight that the populace demands suspension of the 22nd Amendment along with the rest of the Constitution so our hero can really take care of business into his second century. I might classify that scenario as unlikely. Based on precedent, the decades spent leading up to these years is the least worst thing about this presidency.

It’s not Biden’s quite advanced age that causes him to rail against liberty, rights, and various other American niceties. Free markets are one of the things older than him, and he hates them like the rare reporter who notes his record. One can’t lose sharpness one failed to ever possess. This regrettable presidency would’ve inflicted similar agonies had this irritable oaf won in his 40s. He’s plagiarizing his own bad ideas.

This eternal charmer was a nastily dim jerk half a century ago. The most elderly executive America has ever endured didn’t chill out when grandchildren arrived. Werther’s are too costly for Grandpa to dole out to good whippersnappers. It sure was cruel of sellers making everything expensive right after Biden took office just to drag down a loving despot.

The lack of compassion seen amongst Democrats belies their constant assertions of caring more than you. Their addled puppet has to be reminded of his unfortunate ideology. Manipulating someone who should be spending his days arguing about golf cart parking restrictions in The Villages is almost as diabolical as the torment their beliefs cause everyone else.

A high quantity of birthdays doesn’t let honorees off the hook. This administration’s regrettable idea package reflects exactly what Biden would pimp if he remembered anything other than his morning bowl of Apple Jacks. Experience is overrated if it’s spent spreading crime and poverty.

Overall predictability is the smallest consolation for dealing with daily volatility. The Biden presidency isn’t just a regrettable thing to type. A man who’s done plenty if harm counts has overseen a presidency that’s gone exactly as expected. The particulars about liberalism in action shock in a way overall aching doesn’t.

Another four years of printing money to get rich will finally mend our finances. As with all Democratic policies, it takes just a little more currency and autonomy to turn a toxic waste dump into an idyllic paradise you’ll never want to leave. You don’t oppose a clean Earth as well, do you? Unlimited free funds from a government that never runs out is best idea from someone who’s never provided notions or labor people would pay for voluntarily.

Seeing how many embassies America can flee is one kind of record. Homesick Yankees compete in a race to get back home to Biden’s wonderland. The White House claimed they would prevent enmity manifested in chaos, and now they have ample examples. Widespread conflict abroad resembles America’s suddenly violent streets if anyone fretted we were arrogantly unwilling to adopt international standards.

There’s good news for anyone who thinks life has been particularly pleasant since 2021. Everyone else who’s sick of the few goods they’re able to acquire getting stolen wants to fire the one person who makes it happen. Crisis management voters who want to limit damage to one term are trying to live without the presidency affecting everything, which is the whole point.

Republicans could of course screw up the easiest chance to take real estate possible. The masochism of re-election could be sickly enabled by incumbent’s advantage, which props up even one who’s caused as much widespread devastation as his last boss Barack Obama without the cheap charisma. Only the greatest businessman ever could have lost to this hateful schmuck, and running steak salesman and professional baby Donald Trump again would be the only thing worse than falling for his risible claims of tough fighter success the first time.

Doing everything wrong shouldn’t be rewarded, but that’d be the exact lesson we’d be teaching our young people by doubling way down. Getting everything precisely wrong sets a baseline from which to improve if you seek an upside. A president who doesn’t appreciate the indignity of having to ask to retain the job is begging to finally learn consequences.