Book Ban Banned

Anthony Bialy
4 min readMay 11


You’re suppressing this column if you don’t read it. Stop burning volumes that displease you and scroll to the end. Book bans involve not banning them. The lack of comprehension only seems like deadpan irony. Feigning that access to literature is imperiled features a high level of sanctimony even by contemporary standards. The accusations of missing pages like it’s a Hardy Boys mystery are horrifying if true, which they aren’t.

Explaining the example causes calm. What’s called a ban these days resembles claiming an employer not offering benefits means they’re unavailable. Of course, liberals think that’s true, too.

A panic based in lies is surely worth alarm. I suggest avoiding such fiction even if doing so results in getting lumped in with purported destroyers of words.

I don’t want to exile those who wrongly claim they’re happening. That’s yet another difference. Freakout specialists are free to either wholly misunderstand reality or deliberately fib about it. Having them in the open actually benefits reality, which is quite a lesson.

Alleged defenders of communication don’t grasp how their foes would prefer they announce their daftness as fervently as possible. Shower argument winners will be wishing their claims were prohibited after they’re mocked relentlessly for such laughable misinterpretations.

The list of unavailable tomes is so extensive that we can’t even list them. Republican fascists did such a thorough job of removing them from circulation that we can’t even remember the titles. Citing examples would be an even shorter treatise than one detailing Joe Biden’s accomplishments.

Make a fortune explaining things in terms so simple that even indignant can grasp them. A true shutdown of reading material means it can’t be acquired. It’s like what the perpetually sanctimonious try with Harry Potter. J.K. Rowling possessed the nerve to note women are always such, which means punching those particular examples into pulp is permitted as an exception. Children are no longer allowed to enjoy escaping to the wizard world because adults think changing genders is a whim to indulge.

Noticing how biology works will lead to banishment. Tell liberals a book uses accurate pronouns to get them to approve of shredding it.

The same very non-hypocrites are suddenly into the Constitution. But their comprehension remains sadly consistent. A First Amendment violation would involve Congress shutting down your blog. The same perpetually upset citizens think there’s no right to what they deem hate speech. The rather subjective term means anything that challenges their notions.

Adults deciding what kids can read is the present self-righteous outrage from those too busy flaunting their own alleged tolerance to think out things. The truly openminded want government choosing every other thing. You’ll never believe who’s suddenly against schools being in absolute charge. Treating children like they’re communal property devalues the resource.

Editorial decisions are still permitted by law. Choose what’s worth sharing while you can. The same approach to discernment about what content is worth sharing led CNN to conclude Don Lemon is past his prime.

Every single call about what passages to include or exclude could be classified as a maneuver against freedom of thought by those who don’t exercise the option. Removing copies from a curriculum is an argument for a school board meeting as opposed to the portrayal as an invasion by the Fourth Reich.

Shrewdness is now demonized. You can’t judge anything except noting people don’t need allegedly free cash from Washington to prosper. All that money sure doesn’t buy much reading material.

Pretending a paperback has been taken because a classroom or library doesn’t feature it is such a fishy notion that even public school students can recognize it. Tell kids a book is not allowed to get them to read it. That’s how every whippersnapper was tricked into mucking through The Catcher in the Rye. Use the word “censorship” to refer to discretion in determining what teachers get to force brats to trudge through is a nice way to ensure the latter never understand what words actually mean.

It’s always a good time for school choice. Liberals should finally understand why. An educational monopoly has churned out kids who can barely read the books we’re told they’re prevented from holding. But at least the cost is astronomical. The same people who say books are banned want the right to choose a school other than the horrid public option confiscated.

You’ve got some nerve thinking not every single media item is appropriate for kids. Enjoy a fully tolerant era where the greatest moral imperative involves dragging kids to drag show story hour. Children simply must be exposed to dudes dressed as ladies in order to move to the next grade.

Complete confusion as usual applies to expressing concepts. Conflating people choosing to not put certain collections of sequenced words within reach of minors while at school with the end of independence to inspire mirth. You may as well proclaim that we’re prevented from having health care if our stupid and awful government doesn’t issue worthless plans. Choosing insurance keeps people from having it, at least if you believe tales churned out by hack Democrats. Coercion is the only way they can fathom anything being made.

Refusing to read any dissent is ironically popular amongst quite valiant foes of reading interdictions. Suggest they buy the tomes they want, which horrifies them the most. Aspiring readers are free to patronize Amazon or used book sales and buy every publication they wish to leave in Little Free Libraries. I’m sorry using your own money is so pricey.

Opening a book that details the difference between an uptight school board eschewing it and disappearing into the ether would help. But sentences that contradict a daft story are never perused. Ironically, preeners would try to have such an edition removed from shelves. The real policers of texts would call it hate speech paired with misinformation to ruin their good narrative.

Sudden enthusiasts about open forums didn’t care for anyone to Hoxha’s right getting to tweet how useless masks were. Selective practitioners are comfortable as long as they don’t have to encounter any icky topics like opposition. Open-mindedness means accepting every notion with which they agree. Put that in a chapter.



Anthony Bialy

Cranky as a lifestyle choice.