It’s important to distinguish between different political philosophies rather than branding each as the most extreme. Take how socialism is drinking 20 beers then driving a school bus while communism is finishing the case. While the differences are subtle, note how neither particularly helps children get to school. For the record, bus drivers shouldn’t even use mouthwash. Claiming this is the time the preposterously intoxicated will deliver every kid home without dented fenders or bruises is disputed by parole officers.

Neighbors who just want a quiet evening without shouting or police sirens brace for how tipsy with horrid ideas Joe Biden will be over this four-year weekend. I wish he drank so there’d at least be an excuse. Nobody can reasonably believe government will fix anything while sober. What in history would suggest anything he believes helps? Maybe the next margarita pitcher will make the plan clear. Crank the speakers at midnight to assist in clear thinking.

Our dear president’s ideology is merely a matter of the damage level. Dig tire tracks in everyone’s lawns for equality. Someone who’s only hope for feeding his family has been winning elections can’t abide by some people advancing more squares than others. The only fair solution is chaining everyone in place.

Bothering everyone for equality is nothing new. Someone interested in history could catch up on the past century of horrible human ideas inflicted on each other in the name of communal progress. Others whose only knowledge of the past involves vaguely remembering tweets could try to summon more recent personal memories.

Innocent property owners face the same appalling incursions into everyday life attempted by jewel thief Barack Obama. Biden has to be pretty out of it to claim he can’t remember overhearing frustration from the desk down the hall at life not becoming wonderful. The incumbent’s best excuse is forgetting how much every last grandiose plan for saving humanity made its members more woeful. He’s forgetting because he was born during FDR’s third term and thinks that president’s arbitrary pushiness is to be emulated, not because he drank a bottle of MD 20/20.

The president is predictable in that none of his thoughts are good. He’s already tried his hardest to murder jobs. I’m sorry if you like presently disgruntled next-door pal Canada sending what literally fuels civilization. We’ll have better international standing aside from those next door resenting us.

Oh, and those sweet promises may not happen. It’s never too late to learn that the glowing feeling upon hearing a politician’s guarantee does not match the actuality of it happening. You may notice Biden’s last boss didn’t let you keep your plan.

Biden has motivationally committed a lifetime to failure. Naturally, he got the government’s most prominent job. Every last principle of his has been discredited by events and mathematics. Those who promise a bright future do their best to blot out sunlight.

Thrilled citizens caught up in suspense wonder if there’ll be dull liberalism or mortifying social justice woke lunacy next. Biden doesn’t seem like he could tie his shoes. Now, he tries juggling chainsaws. The top guy in that grabbier party has to appease his shriller voters. The problem with doing so is the horrendous results that are guaranteed to follow after declaring college is free. Complimentary diplomas are surely worth the cost.

A president older now than Ronald Reagan was at presidency’s end is trying to be hip to keep up with these cool youths and their fondness for the Cold War’s losing side. Biden was not quite helpful in that battle, which makes it a sensitive subject.

America’s Woke Brigade drags Grandpa leftward, which should count as elder abuse. The only thing more stringent than the appalling economic ideas of anti-progress progressives is the way they treat people.

Banishing anyone who thinks student loans involve borrowed money that should be repaid or gender isn’t a decision is the path to creating happiness for all. Leftism is dehumanizing by nature, as zealous adherents strive to prove their mantra that people can’t get ahead on their own. Personal failures become communal policies.

As for those who have never tried to get someone fired for thinking a marriage involves members of two genders, all hopes are on minimizing damage to a crummy economy. Wondering how much will be devoured by government is how we share hope. Thank a political philosophy where going further inflicts more agony. Surely, increasing pain is a sign of success. A workout is supposed to hurt. Why are muscles getting flabbier?

Enduring his edicts is how we enjoy the fresh air presidency. Hope they don’t destroy too many industries for true optimism. The new brand of orders are framed positively, which is the only thing that matters to slavish statist dunces so deluded that they think Biden inspires. Everything aside from the results goes well.

Biden gets worse the harder he tries. America is protected from an inherently lousy president by his innate revulsion to toil, a demonstrated ability to be ineffective, and the fact he should’ve retired from his quasi-career after serving as a useless underling to an all-star conman. He might not possess the sense to avoid being dragged into AOC’s territory. In that case, pray he forgets where he stuck his to-do list. Politics is the industry where doing less helps us more. Let the president nap for prosperity.

Cranky as a lifestyle choice.