The First Amendment is just another part of the Constitution Joe Biden loathes. Now you’re going to condemn him for consistency? President Velcro risibly tries to run your life even though nothing in the rulebook authorizes any of his regrettable infiltrations. An executive whose made full use of his right as an American and person to blabber wants to cut your microphone.

Please don’t feel intimidated by someone in power abusing it as he wonders aloud why you can keep claiming he’s a clueless dunce. Misadventures in censorship are especially appalling considering he’s spent his life full of it.

This column has not been verified by White House officials. I’d encourage taking a screenshot before the letters are confiscated as evidence against me during my trial for subversion. To further irk my federal minder, I am compelled to call free speech infringements chilling. It’s the Columnist Code. But clichés come along because they contain enough truth to be repeated frequently. You’re free to say anything you’d like as long as it’s been approved by a White House that thinks calling child care infrastructure is honest.

You’ll murder us all. Hysteria serves as the present reason for not letting you do something, in this case open your noise hole and repeat something you read on Town Hall. Type away as long as you don’t say what you want.

Using the virus as an excuse is coincidental just like how elected hall monitors fapped while proclaiming which businesses were allowed to conduct business. It’s so unpredictable that the current crisis is conveniently used to stifle opposition. I hope the Truth Patrol can’t recognize deadpan irony.

Shut up for your health. Symptoms include lust for control and innate insecurity. The most noticeable result from the virus of statism is living out every sick fantasy sufferers have about control. Pretending they weren’t pleased a virus came along to enable domination is the toughest part.

The anti-whispering campaign is going as well as every other Democratic virus-fighting initiative. A party that said your selfishness was a form of genocide has lost the war against COVID-19 like they’re abandoning the South Vietnamese. It’s no wonder they bristle at noticing precedent.

Halting sanctimonious initiatives is apparently not an option. Aggressively enthusiastic liberals want to squash skepticism as if it were being uttered by New York nursing home residents. There’s only one way to ensure witnesses won’t blab.

Misinformation is anything that makes Democrats uncomfortable. Trust their definition or be fined. Finding errors is the excuse used by every aspiring fascist who fantasizes about the 21st -century equivalent of smashing printing presses.

Dynamiting servers is necessary to preserve life. Free speech is killing people, according to an administration that doesn’t even feign guilt over disregarding shamelessness.

Federal word auditors are taking your rights for your safety, money for your security, and decisions for your freedom from horrible autonomy. I’d trust the accuracy rate of anyone criticizing this dopey administration more than any of its perpetually dishonest stooges. People are allowed to be wrong, you know. Biden does it all the time so we can learn from his poor example.

Moronic political science majors who sucked up enough to get White House jobs want to control people in general and what they can say in particular. To them, shredding the Bill of Rights from the top means they’re on message. Meanwhile, your message has been rejected by law. The indignant reflex they exhibit about anything resembling dissent says so much, which for the record is also constitutionally protected.

Perhaps I’m just jealous of Jen Psaki because of her kind compassion. The particularly likable embodiment of everything joyous about humanity dispenses bull excrement constantly even by the standards of presidential press secretaries. I’m almost impressed. Enablers are the real criminals. Being fibbed to by Democrats is the preferred fetish of media members who perversely get off on television channels that don’t have to be ordered by show.

Every last thing Biden says, has ever said, or will ever say is a lie. Only taxing the particularly successful would be a terrible notion even if he stuck to it, which of course he won’t. The government is not only authorized to run your life but is quite skilled at it, if your source is said government.

Daft views on science make the assault on the ability to be incorrect even funnier. Try not to giggle in the principal’s office. Breathing through cloth has done nothing but keep carbon dioxide from getting exhaled if you wonder why people seem particularly cloudy. But at least shutting down society did nothing to halt a rampaging virus that managed to climb through door seams.

They’re called Blue States due to lack of oxygen. Andrew Cuomo choosing your grandma’s roommate allowed Corpse Mountain to surpass Mount Marcy as the erstwhile Empire State’s highest peak. Yet nobody from the White House demands their latest Jim Jones have his Twitter account revoked.

A White House that’s proficient at business and constitutional law must be experts in communication aside from how they can’t express their awful ideas clearly. Washington gives away vaccinations and still can’t get people to take them. The reluctance must be caused by meanies at right-wing online rags who ruined what would otherwise be your leaders efficiently dispersing lifesaving treatment as usual.

The only debate about those who feel speech is a luxurious privilege is whether they’re liars or ignorant. Such arguments would be prohibited by the Ministry of Misinformation. Inventing its name like I just did right there will be considered libelous blasphemy. The federal agency charged with measuring truthfulness will imprison and damn me. Promise you’ll visit?

It’s merely extra horrifying that the professionally mendacious want to determine who else is full of it. But I don’t want them to shut up. Please keep talking. Sure, it’s unpleasant to listen to a shaky president who’s been a doddering old fool long before he turned 384. But enduring dolts is the surest way to discredit them.

Wanting to let people decide is dangerous to their enemies. The lifetime politician who made his way to the White House despises markets in every way. It’s a definite sign of confidence to scrutinize the site where your mom checks the neighborhood free stuff page for vaccine doubts. Biden and those at his workplace forging his signature don’t trust humans to figure out anything, which can only be more appalling considering they’re wrong about everything.

Cranky as a lifestyle choice.