A slower cancer lets you live longer. Still, it might be preferable to never get sick. The uncivil civil war ceaselessly waged by government-lovers over just how much to get up in your grill shows why they loathe competition. It’s too bad those discussing your affairs refuse to learn how to make the best product, as that might lead to them no longer bothering each other and everyone else. But perhaps they’re useless by nature.

Liberals versus leftists versus socialists is like Syria got involved in the Iran-Iraq War. Unfortunately, there’s nothing harder to reverse than creeping statism, which means one faction’s win will be a loss for all. We can only cheer for humanity’s defeat to be minor. A gradual pace allows us to appreciate what we have without it being swept away instantly. A slow flood is a blessing.

Less federal intervention means destroying more slowly. What: do you want default now? Take your time and enjoy the self-destruct sequence. You get to pretend Joe Biden will make you rich in the meantime.

Less ice cream is a reflection of restraint in a way less meth isn’t. We’re supposed to be impressed by moderation any time we’re permitted to keep a buck or exhale without a dirty look from a respiration monitor. Your kind rulers have seen enough growth in you through puberty that they’re only going to control you a little. Please don’t provoke your parental government into grounding you. The unmatched benevolence of letting you retain a bit of token autonomy is supposed to satiate your selfish hunger for liberty.

Let’s emphasize the principles of a wholly unprincipled entity. Those who tell everyone else how to live arguing amongst themselves about how bothersome to be reflects a personal commitment to issues. Cheering for carnage is only figurative, so humorless statists can just calm down until they learn why everyone else laughs at haymakers that connect with turnbuckles. The distraction of how to present themselves saves everyone else from inflicted philosophies. Fight amongst yourselves instead of punching society until it’s idyllic.

Do you want to go the Pol Pot route for purity or be a sellout like Tito? Debating how fanatically to act is an important part of practical harassment. I prefer they give in to at least pretending to appeal to a wider audience, as emerging from the underground means less damage. Inflicting less intervention is the opposite of Greg Gutfeld trading his soul for an earlier time slot.

Imperceptibly smaller increments of infiltration are the key to tricking people into thinking the meddling is great. Um, I mean letting people think. Lukewarm leftism is like a casino advertising its slot machines pay back slightly closer to how much you bet. You’re still losing money. The difference is missing the fun of gambling voluntarily. And there certainly will not be complimentary cocktails.

The same awful notions watered down are bound to be salubrious. Dilution is actually preferable when it means less federal spending instead of weaker cocktails. Try operating heavy machinery after nine martinis instead of 13 unless you don’t care about safety. The debate over whether it’s better to be more awful quickly defines our political moment. I suppose snotty participants could realize they’re inflicting agony no matter how much acid they toss. But that would infringe on their calling.

How much is Washington going to ruin health care? The debate is why political junkies love the process. The debate and procedure make the ensuing ghastliness even more delightful.

You have to choose between forced purchase of awful coverage, a hideous government which is awful at health care and business entering the insurance industry, or outright elimination of even pretending to have companies involved. Look at all these options from which you get to choose. Once. Utter coercion is honest in its way.

The baseline determines perspective. If you start by presuming government gets to be involved in everything, intervening modestly so by comparison feels like relief. Present scoffing at liberty reflects sophisticated debate parameters based around how long you want to touch the hot pan. I blame Congress for not putting a disclaimer on any item that could ever retain heat.

Joe Biden pretending he doesn’t want full-scale infiltration is particularly challenging considering he was born during the Van Buren administration. Informing him daily he won the presidency seems like a sweet job until you realize whose company you’re forced to share. His rare moments of clarity where he remembers to pretend to condemn casual overreach make the honesty of senility appealing. I just wish it were legal to elect someone who had sense and never lost it.

A lack of commitment typifies those who want slightly less confiscation. One can almost admire the zealotry of conviction, although dedication to an atrocious idea ultimately does not improve conditions.

The fervency of surrendering decisions to coercive arrogant morons is based in a lie about the way life works. Oh, and the wholesale catastrophic failure of every last bit of claptrap they believe should be a sign to knock it off altogether. Pretending to not want to hassle others too much is their concession. And you said they weren’t moderate.

Cranky as a lifestyle choice.