Half-Assed Full Hassle

Anthony Bialy
4 min readJun 14, 2021

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Government’s only going to ruin things a little bit. You’re not revolutionary, are you? Landing on some lame middle point between free trade and tyranny means your leaders stop messing before all your money’s gone. Try compromising instead of being some radical. It beats some silly belief that consumers and sellers can negotiate compensation.

High-minded calls for moderation by low-minded dolts is a sign politics are occurring. We’re told life must balance some degree of liberty and onerous infiltration.

Constitution junkies cannot be allowed to enjoy some freewheeling monstrosity where humans can trade products and own guns without supervision. The latter guarantees the fairness of the former, and government hates being rendered redundant. Humanity has involved to where it’s too sophisticated for people to figure out what things are worth and offer compensation accordingly.

It’s not radical to dismiss one side if it’s silly. You don’t even have to be a self-important “Extremism in defense of liberty is no vice” type to oppose onerous tinkering of basic commerce.

The refusal to concede that our frighteningly stupid government has ever had any clue about how we should conduct our affairs has made every product they’ve tried to render affordable skyrocket. But that’s just because they’ve been prohibited from implementing even grander plans. Give them five years.

Any infringements are appalling. If that sounds harsh, good. True fright comes in the form of presuming human interaction needs oversight. Punishing fraud isn’t enough for those sophisticated enough to proclaim government should only ruin transactions a little bit.

A little bit of regulation sounds balanced in the same way one should only pour a small amount of bleach into the coffee pot. You don’t want to join Founding Fathers-worshiping troglodytes who think money belongs to those who earned it.

Professors are loath to concede how much a free diploma is worth. Four or seven years on campus is bound to be valuable when anyone can enroll at taxpayer expense. Students should learn free items may not be worth the actual cost around third grade, and a complimentary college is not about to impart the lesson on those who somehow haven’t yet learned.

Demonizing insurers for daring to seek compensation in exchange for good health is clearly the opposite of self-righteousness. Similarly, melting down the global economy is the price of deciding everyone should get to own a house. Spending money that doesn’t technically exist was the specialty of Andrew Cuomo, who has moved on to mass casualty events as his preferred form of chaos creation.

Lack of interference is the standard. At least, it should be. Crazy libertarian dreamers just want to be unbothered. They selfishly lust after the same standard for everyone else, too. Nothing is apparently worse for society than its members choosing what path same society take. Irksome forays into our autonomy and checking accounts are one way to create balance.

Nothing epitomizes kindness like how infiltrators help their victims. Maximizing compassion by creating widespread poverty is one way to impress whichever deity is in charge of assigning souls in the afterlife. As for the incumbent messiah, every insipid Joe Biden scheme involves seizing around a trillion bucks from the economy in order to make same economy purr. Drilling holes in the bottoms of cups may not enable hydration.

You’ll never guess who the criminal was all along. The guy who told police he knew just what crawlspaces contained corpses seemed so helpful. Ghastly restrictions on trade are the very thing that causes skyrocketing misery. I wouldn’t expect the president to learn after half a century how he was the culprit all along. Biden seems like a Scooby-Doo villain for good reason.

Reducing the need for charity in the first place would seem to be the true way of assisting. Utopian schemers can’t grasp that every misadventure into markets creates problems instead of solving them, probably because it requires working productively. If help is your alleged business, creating victims means more customers.

Spurring prosperity by doing nothing lowers self-esteem. It’s bad for the egos of politicians to realize they’re useless. Build up the poor things by noting it’s very important for them to allow others to do their things. They possess the ability to realize they have no abilities.

Elected officials can pretend they’re supernatural deities who allow their charges to engage in free will. Think of the benevolence. It beats ignoring prayers. Give those who unfortunately won elections a bee to guard in order to ensure compliance.

Those freed of assistance are surprised by just how well life goes after being granted autonomy. Take using an internet renowned for ease of use precisely because Biden hasn’t been able to find the AOL keyword he can use to control your experience. The plan to throw a fortune confiscated from taxpayers at the internet so people can finally access it here in the primitive year of 2021 typifies what is called middle ground by those leaning over other properties. They’re not taking over everything online, so what more do you liberty hogs want?

There’s no need for balance when unbalanced leaders infiltrate interactions that were working just fine. Acting as if every bit of freedom comes as a concession from kind politicians may not match the intent or spirit of our nation’s founding. Telling them to get lost is only impolite if they haven’t invited themselves in. Come back with a warrant if you want to go through the change jar.

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Anthony Bialy
Anthony Bialy

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