Israel Turns the Page
That’s the kind of news worth getting beeped for. Teaching terrorist crotches a lesson is a satisfying update to see scroll by on my pager. My very modern device remains at room temperature, which is a sign I didn’t tick off the virtuous nation that will contact anyone out to destroy it to let them know why that is a very bad idea. The reason will be simple for terror-minded newfound virgins to spot. Recipients will have a special role in the afterlife.
Mossad provided birth control where it’s needed most. Citizens of the neighborhood’s only democracy who watched The Price Is Right on sick days, snow days, and over the summer heeded Bob Barker’s advice about spaying or neutering the terrorist population. Judaism’s enemies are ticked about a method for circumcising malefactors.
The Congressional Hezbollah Caucus is upset that their pals aren’t getting pages. Israel-loathing subversive legislators are sad so many of their top MySpace friends are gone. Their community is in pain if their groins count. Representatives of American districts who wear Hamas Decoder Rings call you a bigot for noticing they’re upset about wounded evildoers and not murdered Israeli concertgoers.
Those able to distinguish between right and wrong know the very special alert was a remote operation against vile actors and not a religion. Calling condemning terrorism Islamophobic is Islamophobic.
The hot details are not safe for work. A most satisfying attack was as minimally invasive as laser eye surgery. Deserving victims wish they couldn’t see the results clearly. Any risible claim that the simultaneous product failure endangered civilians show how daft the case for the abominable faction can get. Those complaining about everything Israel does are not going to like how the Allies won World War II, and not just because they think the good guys lost.
I’m supposed to be upset there may have been collateral damage while setting off explosions very close to terrorists who deliberately inflict nothing but. The usual defenders of demons bitch about weaponizing civilian items without applying the same to music festivals.
Did Israel offer a discount? Using a communications object purchased with Hezbollah’s PayPal is an easy way to identify wrongdoers. It’s like when cops send fake giveaway letters to those with outstanding warrants. If you show up for your free TV, you’re a felon.
Those experiencing neck soreness after perpetually shaking their heads at Israel for fiend castration are the same ones who’ve shrieked regarding every instance of fighting back against an unprovoked terror assault. People don’t change even as technology does. Is the freakout over exploding items held by rather vile persons about moral equivalence or contempt for that one particular county? Flip a coin.
A completely screwed-up sense of right and wrong is nothing new from apologists for wickedness. The same people outraged by a rather warm feeling in the pockets of heinous operatives blame Donald Trump’s rhetoric for his near-assassination. Hypocrisy is just the start of aligning with villainy.
False empathy lacks true context. Outrage over detonating beepers is presented as a mean thing you wouldn’t like if it were done to you. But you haven’t plotted an attack based on free people of a certain religion for the crime of minding their own business.
I don’t want to freak anyone out, but terrorists have already tried to think of ways to blow up iPhones. A noble country fighting terrorism threw miniature Molotov cocktails at gadgets possessed by Earth’s worst humans if anyone engaging in moral equivalency would like to distinguish between sides.
The righteous functioning nation found the most satisfying, cleverest, and funniest way to emasculate dastards out to exterminate its existence. Note who’s fuming.
Israel just detonated Hezbollah’s turnip. The latter naturally used the coolest way to reach your friends in 1998. Primitive communication is the norm in a Third World hellhole that results from a society dedicated the sole industry of anti-Semitic slaughter. Everyone at Hezbollah headquarters is afraid to touch the computer. The Tandy is collecting dust. They won’t even check their Buddy List.
Contemporary troglodytes can’t go back in time much further. The next funeral will feature exploding soup cans connected by string. Hezbollah used pagers to evade Israeli detection. It doesn’t seem to have worked. I can’t wait to see how the Mossad disrupts smoke signals.
That’s what Hezbollah gets for not switching to BlackBerry. Israel wants their enemies to think brick cellphones are safe. Terrorists are going to have to give up their ham radio hobby. The best part of shutting down talking about evil plots is how participants isn’t reading this.
Turning pagers into personalized mushroom clouds. is the funniest and most satisfying way to make terrorists miserable. Their sympathizers lecturing about collateral damage that didn’t happen while scolding us for laughing is the only thing that could make it better.
There is more than one kind of damaged goods. Stop giggling about a most appropriate punishment for the worst persons. It’s not funny. Correct that: it’s not funniest unless it’s set to Yakety Sax. Hezbollah is full of Sex Pistols fans who have to decide which song from Never Mind the Bollocks will serve as their anthem. Please rise if possible.
It’s a quality control issue. One of the world’s last manufacturers of the once hip accessory can’t help it if terrorists prefer a certain type of beeper that just happens to be manufactured at the plant with kegs on the assembly line.
Progressive Israel performed gender-affirming surgeries. The left should adore the only Middle Eastern jurisdiction that allows rainbow flags. As for an enemy of tolerance, Hezbollah capos must flinch at any ringing sound. Are there numbers to call? I’m here to help.
