We’re used to being lied to about amazing and joyous Democratic presidencies. But fibs about this particularly irksome entrant are too much even for the professionally sardonic. Who could pretend to like this bastard?

Joe Biden is not a nice guy despite fluffy press reports to the contrary. Treating a thorough jerk like America’s huggable grandpa is the most pathetic reimagining of reality possible, which sadly doesn’t surprise during an era when Washington assures you its salves will heal all your wounds. You’ll never guess how much a $1,400 apology costs you.

The embodiment of seething selfishness isn’t the businessman paid voluntarily in exchange for work: it’s your federal executive. Biden’s attempt to accuse others of his own shortcomings is clever, at least for him. The thoroughly grabby human needs to distract detectives from himself considering he’s the primary suspect.

It’s bad enough he’s useless to the point where he had to keep running for office to get paid. Even worse, a man who got rich without ever seeking employment presumes everyone else is also incapable of productivity, which leads to embracing an ideology that targets success. The lack of empathy in grasping how others acquire currency by offering something customers want amuses ruefully. We may as well laugh as the useless loot from the productive.

Biden is ambitious in the wrong way. Using politics to feed his own ego differs entirely from profiting by giving customers what they want. Empty promises to those in voting booths don’t count. Thinking diabolical business tyrants want nothing more than to ascend a skull mountain in order to prove they conquer all is typical amongst those who can’t imagine offering service for currency. Politicians are just trying to sell others.

Casting a miserable buffoon as a charming senior citizen is one of the great public relations victories of our time, if not a triumph for truth. Don’t let your poor kids sit on his lap. And slap his hands away from your wallet pocket.

The ultimate Boomer presidency serves as the culmination of fetishization of Democratic elders. The allegedly wise and definitely wizened options should shame the pretend family reunion. Former leading charming Pappy Bernie Sanders sure resents having to compete with President Grandpa. Nancy Pelosi is best avoided instead of being welcomed as the dear purveyor of shrewd experience, just like Maxine Waters should mortify any adopted gene pool waders who treat her as an aunt. And worshiping Ruth Bader Ginsburg only began with her time on Earth. It’s not speaking ill of the dead to note they’re not to be venerated like messiahs, especially with dissents that woeful.

The especially grabby party loves adoring unpleasantly dim statists who have spent their lifetimes neither accumulating wisdom nor earned fortunes. The fact they’re all richer than you despite being useless humans and alleged public servants should cause anyone viewing them as relatives to renounce the family.

Biden’s lessons are inadvertent. He’s spent most of his quasi-career showing what not to do. Now, it’s his underlings working their semi-hardest to turn talk into more talk. At least this administration shows what it takes to form a narrative, which is to say not much. They claim something is going to happen, and… well, that’s it. All you need are unofficial White House staffers in the media to help spread preposterous announcements unchecked. The plan is not particularly clever, although you wouldn’t expect anything more from people so useless they had to major in journalism.

Repeating a lie often enough isn’t just the key to advertising. I hate to repeat clichés, but they usually get that way by containing truth. In that way, they’re the opposite of the falsehoods deliberately used to counter failing plans. You’d think programs as wonderful as those that spend your money on your behalf wouldn’t need such a massive public relations effort.

It’s impressive in its sick way how blatant the falsehoods are. Pretending government saves you is particularly appalling when it’s shoving you in front of buses. Take how Andrew Cuomo suckered a media begging to be seduced into portraying him as the calm practitioner of science keeping New Yorkers safe. Meanwhile, the professional serial killer was making the Grim Reaper jealous. It’s too bad he’s not as proficient at leading as he is at lying. There are literally corpses to show how atrociously he was performing. But he sure sounded like he was listening to scientists.

The story is in place, so screw the truth. Reporters who wish they could write convincing fiction settle for casting the incumbent as lovable. Failed novelists have to settle for dispatches maintaining everything is pleasant now with your federal government. The most prominent Democrat is always inspiring hope. Check results if you want to ruin the fairytale.

Stop thinking any politician cares about you, particularly the current president. The ghastly tendency leads to the frightening result of thinking government is going to help, which is the most deleterious notion of our time.

Biden gets to be calculating precisely because enough suckers fall for his kindly shtick. He naturally didn’t even think of it himself, as that’d take creativity beyond the capacity of someone who thinks Iran will behave and America’s government is swell at delivering health care.

Biden sure seems worn down by the Biden presidency. He had all these dreams of paradisiacal unity achieved through a wise and kind federal entity. Whoever’s in charge should really feel guilty about the utter shortcomings. Please excuse the inept oaf who’s made countless promises but never an honest dollar, as he may have forgotten who’s head of state.

Cranky as a lifestyle choice.