Josh Allen Dates in His League
It’s not a competition. But I win the title of biggest Hailee Steinfeld fan. I even vaguely know why she’s famous. The voice of Gwen Stacy is now Buffalo’s First Lady as if nerds weren’t already envious of our de facto executive. Like Jerry Seinfeld when Elaine’s dating Keith Hernandez, I’m jealous of everybody.
I made sure to spell her name correctly to flaunt my dedication. Copying and pasting was a worthwhile investment this past weekend that taught me through repetition. As an expert on her career, I’ve known how to type her name correctly without checking for a few days now. If I got it wrong, I would have to pretend it was a joke about ignorance of her oeuvre. Simultaneously, I now don’t care for our quarterback’s ex whatshername, a free agent who can date a Patriot.
Hailee is an actress and singer, according to information I totally didn’t just glean from her Wikipedia. My expertise on all things Buffalo Bills extends to learning why she’s famous. An actress and pop star dates a fellow double threat.
A transaction can alter perception. Buffalonians suddenly prefer the True Grit remake to the original, which is a matter of taste and not that the city’s most beloved dreamboat is courting one of its stars. I also now have an opinion about the Pitch Perfect movie series, which may seem weird but is not much different than thinking Dalton Kincaid is just the sort of player I want to cheer for right as he’s drafted.
Life can change in a moment. Take how her ubiquitously incessant hit Starving used to infiltrate my brain and play on a loop as a cruel joke from an uncaring universe that didn’t care how my thoughts weren’t something I wanted to think. But I now welcome encountering her emblematically classic tune that puts anything Verdi wrote to shame. What was earlier in the month an incessant torment that offered a preview of eternal damnation has become a chance to experience transcendent musical genius repeatedly.
In particular, the once-curious line expressing fondness by informing the singer’s partner that she “Don’t need no butterflies when you give me the whole damn zoo” is now worthy of Westerberg. Like trying to look past Terrell Owens’s myriad transgressions, we seek the upside of new allies.
Learning about who Josh Allen dates is my new offseason hobby. Taking a very not creepy interest in his time away from work is just another way of showing appreciation. We swear it’s dedicated and not deranged.
Caring about the doings of admired athletes shows thoroughness. That’s why I found myself interested in what bank Stefon Diggs thought was best for me. Caring about a certain update just because a particular person is involved applies to celebrity endorsements of corporations or relationships.
Steinfeld could become even more beloved in her adopted homeland if she affects play in one direction. A glamorous pairing is ideally part of a fully happy life. Allen doesn’t seem like the type who finds focus in anguish like a miserable single writer who uses personal desolation to mine material and a grudge. Fellow AFC East quarterback Aaron Rodgers has gone through a handful of romantic affiliations involving ladies with popular Instagram accounts, which could be a trend worth following.
Star power should only be the main attraction when it’s on the field. But it’s nice to recognize fellow backers from somewhere other than Wegmans. Monitoring which humans we know are sitting in suites is the result, not the goal. The urge to align with success applies to allurement just like it does athletics. It’s a good problem to determine who’s hopped on the bandwagon.
Following sports is already bizarre. Zealots care more than anything about who moves a ball forward better. Worrying intently about ligaments of people we may never meet has come to feel normal. Wondering about partners is the next natural step in its way.
I blame the calendar for my Tiger Beat tendencies. Charting wooing is a byproduct of just how much time fans must fill between play. But even a 40-game NFL season would still feature some days between them. Thinking about where players are taking flames to dinner creates a break from thinking about the next touchdown’s form.
Post this on Page Six. Allen is turning football columns into gossip forums. Someone with multiple talents is dating Steinfeld. It’s a sign of just how much attention he draws that Hailee groupies who might not be able to explain a zone blitz know she’s going out with some football guy.
Questions about the upcoming season revolve around play-calling direction. I wonder when will we found out Hailee’s favorite pizza parlor. The answer could endear her even further to Erie County’s residents and enthusiasts. A quarterback succeeding in multiple ways enjoys time with a new beau in between playing cornerback at OTAs. Welcoming her as family is how we can make her feel at home. Does she like football?
