Legally Jealous

Anthony Bialy
4 min readJan 23, 2023

Life is mean. The series of events we endure while existing features various cruelties that don’t respond to pleas for deserved mercy. Worst of all, some of us have nicer stuff than others. But coping apparently isn’t an option.

The lamentably prevailing unwillingness to focus on one’s own situation has become a scenario everyone must face. Communal policies drag down the rest of us. Professional pouters who’ve decided existence is a ripoff have turned toddler supermarket tantrums into a political philosophy. You can’t just shop in a different aisle to minimize shrieking. The shelves are just as empty, anyway.

Ensuing policy doesn’t stop tears. Inflicting conspiratorial bitching on everyone else by law only spreads misery. But suffering is only assuaged by making others feel it, too. Empathy isn’t as effective when it’s merely figurative.

The second word of student loans should be a giveaway. But some undergrads seem to major in not learning definitions. In fact, woeful graduates leave campus determined to make up what terms mean. It’s little wonder they deem diplomas so useless that they should be complimentary. On one hand, art history majors signed a contract to repay money they borrowed. On the other, it’s just not fair. How are you supposed to pay bills when you have bills to pay?

Presuming present tax rates are the default comes naturally for those who treat Washington as Mecca. Sacred proclamations from elected prophets cannot be disputed. Blasphemers possess the damnable audacity to suggest earners should keep what they earn. But currency holders buying what they wish with what they’ve been given could lead to frightening unplanned prosperity. Joe Biden wouldn’t even be regulating happiness. He’d manage to end its existence.

The dream of seizing more somehow fails to inspire boom times. Framing a slight reduction of piracy as something that needs to be paid for is particularly galling when it’s actually government that must justify every expenditure. Free people sure do have to pay for a lot of crummy goods.

I remain grateful I don’t fume like liberals regarding the notion that people who earn the most should be able to keep slightly more. Using fuming positively might create a functioning business. But it’s easier to presume conglomerates will profit eternally despite incessant confiscation. Democrats who rely on taxing endless profits make profiting taxing.

The dire practical effects of their daft philosophical lunacy shock those who inhabit an entirely theoretical world. The refusal to engage with the actuality creates grudges. Even worse, the unstylish crabs enforce their contempt upon the kind and gracious.

Government must assist those it wronged. The behemoth of coercion has to take in order to help victims of an economy that perpetually struggles for mysterious reasons. I wish there were a way for people to take what they’ve received from others in exchange for providing goods or services to use what they’ve earned to keep the financial setup going.

There has been some rumbling about the existence of an alleged free market. But how can we be certain this so-called invisible hand exists? Nobody can see it, duh. Some right-wing kooks with their silly insistence on not bothering everyone else theorize that wealthy fiends spending or investing spurs joy far more efficiently than envy. A yacht big enough to store their other yachts keeps factory schlubs working. But someone in the world might be earning more, which simply cannot stand.

Jealousy is the only skill which the useless develop. It’s not exactly valuable unless you get elected to Congress. The lack of productivity causes even more resentment, and the cycle doesn’t ever hit rock bottom.

It’s bad enough to believe such and even worse to enforce such. There’s a reason liberal policies are based in mandatory participation. You can’t just choose to plunder what successful people have accumulated unless you get the force of law on your side. Class warfare warriors rot from believing life is engineered by sinister forces to keep everyone but you personally from thriving. Government takes the perversion out of ridiculous fantasies. Some sickos need legal permission.

Oozing government always results in initiators sabotaging bystanders. There are better ways to achieve equality. Enthusiastic adherents loathe individual credit for good reason. An outlook that figures oppression is the default setting is bound to not only perceive reality fairly but be kind about it.

You won’t be left alone as a matter of policy. All decent adults want is space to themselves. But you can’t just have your own stuff and autonomy. Keeping what you’ve been given by others during free trades epitomizes cruelty. The mature merely seek the glorious indifference of allowing humans to interact.

Doing nothing is politically unhip. The harassed eagerly await freedom to come back into vogue. The one thing worse than living with such bitterness is diluting the sweetness of others. Very cheery optimists who decided there’s no hope of improving do their best to convince others of the same. Persuading an employer to take a chance takes way too much effort, and you haven’t even reached the first day.