Listing Campaign
Idle threats aren’t any less irritating. Demanding submission defeats the point. Donald Trump’s fans compensate for dwindling numbers with intensity. The mouthy legion’s unwillingness to admit anything could ever go wrong makes them just like their hero as he gets oh so close to re-election.
Follow their example. Or don’t. Unofficial underlings expect you to back Trump even as he backstabs. If it were obvious he could win, they wouldn’t need to make such racket. A famous restaurant doesn’t have to bill itself as such. Can you still get a Trump taco bowl?
Our time will seem so empty after governments learn to count. Planning ahead allows a jumpstart on cultivating resentment. Trump’s chances are on par with a USFL revival, which means this is the perfect time for graciously finding someone to blame. It can’t be the candidate.
Keeping a list isn’t just for Santa. Noting who hasn’t been sufficiently loyal during the final countdown is more up Joe McCarthy’s alley, and he only gave out coal. Please don’t zoom in on its contents.
All Trump’s remaining slouching knights can think of is retribution, which is at least on brand. Targeting those who didn’t bow deeply enough is something they share with oh so progressive Democrats compiling names of those they view as collaborators. They both arrive for struggle sessions and don’t know whether they’re supposed to scold or receive shame.
Demanding unquestioned support is for true independent outsiders. By contrast, asking questions is for the unfaithful. Dispensing rewards to those who got logo tattoos is government’s most noble purpose. The worst part of transactional faith is when you don’t even get anything good out of all that kneeling.
Embrace their tactics to please them. If we’re not forgetting out of bitterness, the top grudge should be how nasty many Trump suckers have spent his political career on social media spewing crummy insults paired with vague threats. Their obsession with follower counts perfectly suits fans of a brute force aficionado, which is especially rich considering they always seem to have the same number of followers that they follow. Independent servants are obsessed with crushing precisely because they have no grip strength.
The order to join is the precise opposite of strength, which means Trump has been consistent. Obsessing with with domination instead of whether it’s right has only been the core of his personality for his entire life. You weren’t supposed to cheer when Thanos snapped.
Sell me this gold-painted pen. Trump can’t persuade that he won, which is funny enough. He’s finally hilarious now that he can’t draw support the one time he might actually have at least a marginal case. Naturally, the laughs are inadvertent. The most prominent infomercial pitchman in history doesn’t even have to pretend understandably skeptical carnivores will find Trump Steaks scrumptious: all he has to note is how vote totals vary like his mood. And he is doing even worse than he did at getting slot machine aficionados to plunk away pensions at Trump Taj Mahal.
Arguing is so fun that we forgot the subject. Figuring whether or not he actually won seems secondary. The only thing that should matter is naturally irrelevant. Are you new to 2020?
Fighting for something unwanted is the only way to make it worse, or better if you enjoy laughing at cruel misfortune. The fading incumbent’s shock troopers are struggling for something the leader doesn’t want. Trump not getting things done despite claims everything’s finished was a habit established long before he was president. He somehow won in case you haven’t heard.
The actual doing is the important part, but the faithful still don’t accept they got conned out of integrity by the biggest politician of them all. Losing to Joe freaking Biden is a culmination of an empty term that’s a bit too perfect
You should at least relinquish ownership of your soul for worthy causes. But Trump only expects fealty for the sake of it. He rules because he does. Oh, and except for how he doesn’t. You’ll never believe he still struggles to explain conservative policies.
Cajoling gullible people starved to kill time into believing his board game would be fun was good practice in its way. Just do what the master demands to fight the lame joiners. Henchmen grasp negotiations just like their perfect hunk does. They’re the best at everything just like the hero they ape.
Very savvy businessmen have nothing to offer in exchange for making demands like Xerxes. The best negotiator ever doesn’t grasp how the process works, which is an inadvertent delight of someone who’s never amusing on purpose. Get back here and be loyal.
A president bitching about unfairness is like a rich bluesman, only that B.B. King still played like he felt sad. Existence has been so mean to the present president, what with being born into wealth and using it to make about the same fortune he would with mutual funds so he could complain it’s cruel when anyone notices the quality of his products and record. He enjoys claiming he’s a victim like the alpha male he is. Don’t let the fun end.
Trump totally doesn’t sound like an aggrieved RINO cuck, so get the notion that he’s projecting out of your head. It’s not like an ironic loser always has an excuse for failing.
