May the Force Not Cancel You

Anthony Bialy
4 min readFeb 22, 2021


There’s nothing cultured about canceling a person. Former Mandalorian sidekick and present badass Gina Carano is the mob’s latest target, although the woke male feminists whose feeble assault ended production of an action figure that could inspire girls wouldn’t confront the independently strong woman they fear in person out of knowledge they’d get their scrawny hides whooped.

The wretched hive of scum and villainy will only brag about conquests online. Seething twerps think they’re charming rogues like Han Solo, and they’re naturally only funny by mistake.

Lucasfilm and Disney are co-pilots ruining the one good Star Wars thing left. Cowardly blasting dissent is an unsurprising twist from those who regrettably brought Episode VIII’s casino scene to a world that craved another fulfilling tale from the faraway galaxy. Their human stories are even more of a letdown.

Carano’s real-life enemies broke the Jedi principle of not acting like bitches. Pretend everyone on the aisle’s other side is a Sith Lord Wampa Bizarro Ewok who blows up innocent planets for an outcome as destructive as it is petty. Ruining careers is as nourishing for the soul as you’d expect. Reasonable people can disagree. Unreasonable people disagree.

Not calling for Carano to lose work was a missed opportunity for indulging in pathetic vindictiveness. I didn’t vote for the candidate I presume the real-life Cara Dune did. And the post that allegedly constituted the last straw comparing Republicans to those attacked when Germany was at its naughtiest was Mandalorian-level melodramatic. But it may be possible to enjoy the work of someone who makes outrageous claims.

I oppose the bounty in the same way I don’t want helmet-wearing star Pedro Pascal fired for being a silly lefty. It’d be nice to hear her present former employer agree. Lucasfilm has even more to apologize for than the company’s namesake does regarding the prequel trade dispute. The space justice fantasy didn’t inspire its producers to be brave heroes.

Very rational foes of open dialogue claim to be scientific as they proclaim anyone who notes gender is not a decision to be a witch. Mocking choosing pronouns is the gravest sin. And Carano was denounced for having the nerve to notice the virus has disregarded governmental attempts to restrict it.

Nobody is allowed to express a contrarian opinion, which is one way to create tolerance. Would you believe those who proclaim there are more classifications than males and females can be a tad unreasonable?

Smugness accompanies shrillness. American struggle session holders have the whole package. Those who smirked when they heard someone with views they loathe lost their job preen as if their craven tattling constitutes brave justice. Firing someone for overwrought memes equals accountability if you’re a particularly frenzied social media warrior.

The woke Stormtroopers won’t like their standard. A mindless legion would find ganging up on those with daft outlooks quite ominous if applied thoroughly. If getting anyone without the proper insane takes fired is their idea of unregulated interaction, it’s little wonder they also loathe the free market. Having nothing of value to offer doesn’t help, either.

Everyone who disagrees with the cancel junta is monstrous. Well, that’s a relief. Otherwise, their silencing of diversity would make them joyless totalitarian gloaters. Yet the reality doesn’t seem to jibe with their airtight logic. Mindless clones of the cultish horde comes across as sore winners because they know deep down such alleged victories are hollow. Trying to win by destroying opposition is surely an indicator of security.

Appalling treatment of a female cast member means ditching Disney Plus, and not just because Mickey is a vapid creep who’s never said anything funny. Sure, most of the rat’s content is like sugar without sweetness. But I’ll miss being able to watch the few good Star Wars movies. I’m also going to have ample time to teach war refugees to read considering I will be skipping binging The Muppet Show. My plan to counter semipermanent melancholy with nostalgia is postponed like the frightening behemoth’s acceptance.

Individuals are to be judged by their most hysterical exaggerations in a very logical and graceful way to treat others. You may as well shun everyone who’s ever been on social media.

Rendering verdicts based on extreme moments is the most popular hobby amongst those who regularly take glee at foes’ deaths while endorsing a political system that has caused widespread agony for countless victims. Speaking of Germany, check if the one-time Eastern division already tried your economic philosophy.

Speaking of a huge group to be destroyed, banishment applies to any of the dozens of millions who voted for a president the torch-toters loathe. Curiously, only Donald Trump backers are subjected to punishment. Joe Biden is out to federalize the last bits of insurance that haven’t been ruined when he’s not trying to do to the economy what he would allow Iran to do to Israel. Yet the only work lost by his supporters should be because of the continual recession he’s about to supervise. His backers shouldn’t be canned for political brainlessness.

For the salaries they command, you’t think entertainment executives wouldn’t let their companies be run by unqualified limp mafiosos who don’t decide what airs for a reason. They should act rationally to illustrate the distinction.

Social media hysteria will die down, as a distinct minority who try to compensate with volume runs out of energy quickly. Ignore tantrums to stop them. Haven’t they ever dealt with toddlers before? Adult children are even more predictable in their shrieking.

Relatively mature people can be sure those lashing out at the mean tweets will never be satisfied. Don’t even try. Let the wannabe people hunters be miserable, which they will be even if they’re watching their favorite shows.

The oh so mean lady who enervated rampagers suspect voted to hurt their precious feelings should get her job back. That satisfying arc would mean there’s someone left at Star Wars who can tell a story.