Migration Spreading Like Vines

Anthony Bialy
4 min readSep 19, 2022

Martha would’ve wanted her vineyard shared. The lucky island somehow recently found itself hosting the newest Americans who aren’t technically so. The reverse being true is just some silly technical holdup.

Diversity is our strength. That’s true everywhere, including a place most Americans can’t afford to even consider visiting for an afternoon. Those blessed with privilege of wealth and status get to be welcoming without even needing to try. The biggest beneficiaries of the random chance that liberals claim is the only way to obtain ample stockpiles of currency get to share space with impromptu immigrants.

Benefits are mutual: those migrating through a separated portion of Massachusetts were blessed to be flown out of out of icky Red States. If they were unlucky enough to stay in the first place to which they traveled, they’d improperly spend earnings they weren’t lucky enough to have taxed away while constantly dodging Wild West shootouts. Thanks to free trips from Florida, progressive utopias are now an even brighter mosaic.

But things haven’t quite worked out as projected, which is surely the first time that’s ever happened with the federal government ignoring federal law. Liberals received a perfect opportunity to put their doctrine in practice. Instead, the outwardly pious freaked out more melodramatically about sharing sidewalks with a few dozen migrants than at the prospect of paying their own student loans. Anyone on location looking for amusement should count how many Martha’s Vineyard regulars mutter under breath words that are less than welcoming.

The allegedly accommodating haven’t quite opened their arms as it would seem by their smug election-era Facebook posts. Figurative examples sure don’t seem as neat in practice. Living Constitution fetishists have long wanted to replace our hoary rulebook with the Statue of Liberty poem and now want to trash that non-rhyming call to let in anyone who feels like it. Give Texas your huddled masses.

Dwellers of a rather distant place in multiple ways don’t want to deal with their preening. Those who hang out in the emblematic affluent enclave head there precisely to avoid consequences of how they vote. A Democratic hive that’s literally on an island used to be an escape from Joe Biden’s push to join the Second World.

New neighbors immigrated illegally. It’s suddenly not hatefully bigoted to use the accurate term. I just wish there could be a way to stop the stampede like some sort of border crackdown. Maybe we could erect a large vertical barrier. Those who never expected to see what a migrant crisis looks like firsthand now don’t just a wall around their precious island but a lid, too.

No: you be compassionate. Liberals hate coping with their policies. Assistance junkies don’t seem nice at all when they can’t pass along responsibility as their philosophy dictates. The only thing worse than sob stories happens when said sobs are over the wrong things. It’s so unlike them to get outcomes incorrect.

The accident of geography means others have to deal with the alleged nobility of those committed to erasing lines between nations. But Ron DeSantis is nice enough to show the incumbent’s voters directly what those consequences mean. Democrats thought fuel prices would keep Blue States safe from an influx of unofficial semipermanent visitors. Biden releasing the reserves for a quick afterburner jolt makes filling up just affordable enough to splurge on sending American visitors for an offseason trip to a decadent kulak respite purlieu.

Ignoring the process just like party policy doesn’t create efficient utopia, you say? Doing what you wish where you’d like is Democratic policy for everyone except those who have not committed crimes. The newest Martha’s Vineyard visitors making themselves at home bring to mind Purge re-enactors in Democratic cities winking at neutralized cops. Consistency isn’t aways reassuring.

You’ll never guess who’s suddenly for border moats filled with laser alligators. Liberals become conservatives when they are mugged by reality as well as muggers. We can hopefully convince those who suddenly believe in strict enforcement that new arrivals should have to undergo a process to verify stories.

It’s too late to find out if the newest Patriots fans have shady pasts on account of how nobody asked. Now, America’s biggest snobs know how the riffraff feel. I hate to be cynical, but immigrants without documents may not be fleeing diabolical juntas who chase dissenters with machetes. Professional robbers are possibly not trying to scrape enough together to buy bread for orphans, either, but let’s deal with one suspicion at a time. The Vineyard’s newest inhabitants are breaking the law either way. They’re supposed to illicitly strain services in a jurisdiction with an Olive Garden.

Laws are presently only a problem for the law-abiding. Democrats adore bothering those they know are decent enough to comply. That’s why they hassle legal gun owners, assemble brigades of IRS agents to confiscate huge income portions, and demand you drive a plug-in car as their power grids warp. Meanwhile, you can break any law you please as long as you’re here illegally. The Bay State’s toniest area suddenly wants to go all Rudy Giuliani on transgressions.

Seeing the consequences firsthand caused a DEFCON 1 Red Alert among those suffering the indignity of direct contact and howling laughter from everyone else watching the new perfect example of hypocrisy. I feel terrible for poor Martha’s Vineyard’s locals and welcome longtime residents from that chaotic land seeking refuge in a safer space. I just hope they don’t move to my ZIP code.