Government fans oppose competition for ideas, too. The pushiest amongst us try their hardest to apply principles at every level. Maintaining a philosophy is unimpressive if it involves silly notions.

Presuming there is no disagreement surely makes rotten views palatable. There’s no way to legitimately dissent from those who identify as tolerant. Just ask them.

You’re anti-pandemic, right? Masking sadly didn’t mute presumptions that whatever burdens doltish governors imposed kept the corpses from stacking. Said masking which totally worked is making a comeback in case science wasn’t muffled enough. You may as well reboot The Big Bang Theory. I shouldn’t give producers or politicians any ghastly ideas. Neither keep their word as standard practice.

No: I meant two weeks to stop this spread. You grow accustomed to eternal panic, which is why scientific leaders kindly keep you tense during every waking moment. Muscles learn to contract during sleep if you feared you’d be unprepared while dozing. Sweet humans were promised we were done with living bandit style. But everything else your elected guardians guarantee will come true. Let’s idle for another year.

Pointing out what global supervillain inflicted a plague on same globe will provoke hate crimes. The most notorious fiendish regime sure seem to hate us considering they’re the perpetrator, but their victims aren’t politically convenient victims.

China’s precious feelings are not to be hurt lest we want to endure another inflicted pandemic. The world’s worst antagonist sure is a sensitive little bitch. The same people who banned cash bail don’t want to irritate a worldwide adversary too tiresome to serve as a fictional foil. It’s so unfair to suspect a class warfare tyranny does not have humanity’s best interests only because it’s true.

Fans of politicians controlling your health remain shocked ungrateful Cubans could reject all the sweet things their government bought for them. Those who care for others they hassle have convinced themselves that those suffering under the genocidal soul-crushing life-ruining poverty-creating sprit-crushing curse on humanity that is communism were just ticked about vaccine inability. Six decades of enforced poverty may have been a secondary factor.

Using a fist for their symbol is inadvertently apt for a philosophy that relies on force for compliance with hideous notions. The utopian island is only suffering because they’re not allowed to trade with the meanie oppressive capitalist neighbor.

Biology disagrees with silly conclusions. Proclaiming there’s no reasonable case foes can make is particularly galling when our present accumulation of evidence and research indicates the stance is daft. Science would laugh were it not indifferent.

The fad for gender switcheroos typifies indulging rather bizarre notions that should remain in one’s skull. Instead, alleged fans of evidence deem that not only is deciding you’re not what your junk dictates acceptable but also heroic. You’re a hateful demon for thinking guys and gals are always on the same side. People who think with their genitals don’t think their genitals are valid.

I just wish there could be another way to obtain insurance other than from the heinously uncaring and ruthlessly inept government. Imagine a fantastical world where customers could change between providers who have to impress customers with what they offer. Treat it like a commodity precisely because it’s crucial. But buying what you use is depicted as the apex of cruelty.

Trusting you to properly spend what’s yours has been rendered subversive. Please fritter totally free checks from the benevolent Treasury to stimulate some sort of pecuniary activity that’ll finally make us rich. Jumping from a plane without a sheet of fabric to slow descent is also bold action if we’re not into value judgments.

Humans with skills too useless to thrive in the marketplace gleefully demonize it. The media helpfully portraying federal spending as the key to getting the economy purring embodies the sort of wise decision they make for us.

Those burdened with knowing what’s best for others feel obligated to slant the news a bit if they’re very smart and know what works. Acting like elected dolts can spend what’s not theirs to spur prosperity is like figuring the best way to lose weight is to eat Milk Duds by the handful. The only thing worse than bias is bias in favor of atrocious notions.

Very openminded liberals can’t imagine anyone thinking differently. They justify their curiously narrow brand of acceptance by proclaiming anyone who dares dissent is monstrous. You’re intolerant of the tolerant, which means the latter can choose who gets to join the first Mars mission. I’m going to pretend to be sad when I leave this planet.

We’re destined to enjoy unity in a world where presuming the government shouldn’t be involved is radical. Dissent has been quelled, which means we’ve finally entered the era of docile cooperation. Debate is conveniently banished for unity.

The only way monolithic thinkers can win arguments is by deeming opposition illegitimate. Oh, look: it’s just like their policies. Federalization is nothing more than confiscating choice. Apply the same principle to discourse to squash it.

Cranky as a lifestyle choice.