You have to be hurt because it might assist. The urge to do something when nothing might suffice is always sadly popular with a particular kind of bossy visionary who knows how to fix an engine he’s never seen before. All it takes to repair what’s foreign is an unworkable ideology pimped by a megalomaniac dumb enough to think his kindly guidance will make it work. Pass me a bigger hammer.

The urge to meddle is innate to special humans placed amongst the rabble to lead us out of caves. Sure, their policies that flood our natural homes, but rising water just encourages progress.

Ruining your day is even more pressing when it’s allegedly to keep you from dying. You may have heard about a mysterious virus that eats your insides and passes through eye contact. The only way you can be protected is by eating in a tent instead of a restaurant with a more permanent roof. The health benefits are longterm, which is why you must remain patient as the disease racks up its kill count.

Sure, everything has stopped but the illness. But caring is the important part, aside for how you’re coping with a year of being made to feel unproductive with the lack of money to prove it. It’s your fault for not using a sentence for self-improvement. You being shoved in the hole has not improved the virus’s behavior. You’re not supposed to ponder the incongruity. The sentence will be extended until rehabilitation has been internalized.

Broad action by law does nothing and creates tremendous waste. Other than that, legislation rushed to be passed that evening in response to that afternoon’s news always makes the future cheerier. As a mean enemy of government, I left out the positive benefit, namely those passing it feeling better about themselves. Sure, the results turn out precisely the opposite in the same way Jon Cryer makes a comedy unfunny. But checking for laughs hurts as many feelings as does the same with other results.

Rights confiscated are sure to make less free humans safe. The outcomes are the only exception. Take how astute trackers of bullet wounds keep noticing gun crime thrives where laws against acquiring the devices are strongest.

Please stop being impossible, world. Slipping on sidewalk blood is a strong sign that banning purchases has not quite worked as planned. Those who horrifyingly ignore one law are demonic enough to make it plural.

Eager banners who think the next round of blaming guns will be the one that spreads safety don’t believe the free market’s natural incentives, either. There are limits to consistency’s benefits.

The rather counterproductive notion that policies failing right in front of us could provide assistance isn’t going to deter politicians who know fate let them win offices to save us all. A smoking engine just means the car’s running in turbo mode. You’re just not flooring the accelerator hard enough.

Affix your mask if you’re on different floors of your family dwelling in case you are somehow managing to infect the rest of us. Endless deaths and countless losses over almost a year shouldn’t deter us from thinking we’re helping everyone by doing nothing individually. Please don’t ask if they’re actually causing harm, as that contrarianism is what’s killing us and not elected lawyers deciding what’s scientific.

The deductive audacity to notice what’s happening and conclude nothing’s working has been banned by executive order. Joe Biden picked up a great deal of research training over a couple decades in the Senate, and you’ve got some nerve disputing our regent in general or on specific decrees. The worst thing might happen to bully executives, namely citizens noticing the purple nurples aren’t building character.

Never learning lessons is the only way to maintain a liberal ideology. Your thoroughly confused president has spent his life proclaiming every bit of invasiveness is for your benefit and glory, and it’s mean to not tell him what happened. He’ll forget in four minutes, anyway. It takes a remarkable level of ignorance to not see how everything he believes fails, and your president is just the guy. The only thing worse is how many voters fell for the same.

What’s the worst that could happen? Well, the happenings. Interventions into ordinary life clearly provide zero assistance, unless the avoidable agony they cause counts. As with checking to see if another martini makes operating heavy machinery easier, there’s a downside to unfettered experimentation. In government’s case, the result is far worse than an untidy lumber pile where your house stood three seconds ago.

Endless incursions cost us confiscated bills and autonomous thinking. There’s no value in relying on the biggest dolts to fix something because they claim repairs are guaranteed by law. What happens when government doesn’t do as promised? Asking should be illegal. The pesky First Amendment allows for criticism of political heroes until we get enough votes or whatever to repeal it. The Constitution stops its enemies, which makes them resent the document even more.

Halting jerky idiocy offends those with a certain attitude about government’s worthiness. The ruling entity won’t arrest itself for fraud. Making politicians look bad is the worst thing that could happen, aside from the damage they inflict with assistance.

Cranky as a lifestyle choice.