I just want everything to suck like it used to do. Wouldn’t normal be nice? At the least, we should try to get conditions as close as possible during this aggravatingly pointless existence. If you’re on the road to Hell, stop once it feels warm. Confused humans somehow concluded politics are the one ingredient separating us from utopia. America is awful and needs American government to fix it.

Constantly thinking about who the president sure has been healthy. Haven’t you noticed how happy everyone seems? No, you shut your whore mouth. Waking up and wondering what monstrosity has been inflicted or praising an elected dope’s inherent awesomeness are equally toxic. Both sick approaches play into liberal notions about government being the focal point, which should mortify one side.

Don’t forget to limit federal overreach by treating every president like a ghastly oaf who craves seizing your rights. A disturbingly high percentage of Americans think holding politicians accountable stops progress.

Endless fuming about what a demonic force that person from the other party is hasn’t stopped the equivalent. Constantly defending a wholly flawed politician is what partisans feel compelled to do because the other faction says everyone else is a cruel jerk. The Sean Hannity approach to the world has made it very logical.

It’s easier to remember what team you’re on once you’ve established politicians are on the other one. Getting back to healthily hating everyone in office is the biggest check and balance. Being suspicious of all those who ever won an election especially applies to putrid options whom we nonetheless grudgingly deemed to be marginally less atrocious by comparison. There’s quite the difference between giving votes and support.

We shouldn’t have to remind anyone that politicians are out to bribe us with what they robbed from us. Expecting someone with a bigger salary to owe everyone else is for class warfare losers. They fight battles nobody wins. Confiscated bucks could be used to pay us as either their own employees or of invested companies. Government needs double funding to maintain drivable roads, so forget people buying from your Etsy shop.

When will shrewd students finally get cheap tuition by law after previous laws made it so costly? The bravest leaders will postpone dealing with crises it initiated just like putting off repayment allows for freewheeling now.

Just try life without active supervision. There’s a reason federal minders are terrified of the notion. We might actually enjoy not having awful idiots boss us around. Telling us how racist we are is merely a bonus.

Cynical observers don’t have to cross to one side because the other is full of horrific twits. We sure could use more neutral ground where any faction out to run our days is banished all day. Not rallying behind either cult is an option in case anyone felt compelled to align. Chlamydia wants you to believe gonorrhea is the only other option. Stridently binary choices should be left to liberals. That sadly means both parties.

The predictable president adheres to an algorithm that’s as dull as it is invasive. Animatronic Joe Biden can be moved straight into Disney’s Hall of Presidents. That’s one human who’s easy to control, especially considering he holds such an allegedly powerful job. Using a confused grandfather to push for mandates that cost freedom as well as trillions is elder abuse. Andrew Cuomo isn’t the guilty party this one time.

It’s tough to even fathom how we’d return to not having life invaded. We should at least be as unbothered as stupid non-America countries. Such a fanciful dream definitely means not electing a Democrat who’s certain to think you’re performing incorrectly.

Distaste for hassling sadly means not backing most Republicans. Voters don’t have to feel bad about hurting their feelings over rejection; in fact, the unprincipled arrogant dolts deserve scorn. Their greatest strength is not being Democrats. They then then act like them. The party of Quayle wonders why they don’t have a semipermanent majority as they copy hideous foes. Spending taxpayer money to bliss may buy votes a few times. But reality and mathematics combine to remain unimpressed.

Free people deserve one option that means we can be harassed slightly less. A delightfully inattentive president who hates Iran and not rich Americans should be more than a wish. Biden is clueless in the wrong way. Hoping the president forgets to bother everyone shouldn’t be a term’s best-case scenario.

Cutting the budget in half would be a good start. A half-decent leader should be able to explain how prices decrease and wages increase precisely if government doesn’t try to make it happen. Let us negotiate amongst ourselves to create magic spells we’re told are impossible without federal warlock guidance. A country that rumor holds was designed precisely to function without micromanaging craves it.

Perpetual adolescence is a welcome curse for those who insist upon seeing Washington as a parent. But aspiring adults should want it to be an exhausted mom telling kids to work it out. Anyone into liberty doesn’t want to be supervised indefinitely. Treating Americans like children has created a juvenile nation. Sesame Street never taught us to count to 30 trillion.

Cranky as a lifestyle choice.