Predicting Results Easy for Buffalo Bills
They’ve got some nerve making us cheer for the Eagles. Creating indignities is the specialty of a Buffalo Bills team that once again stopped themselves at the semifinal. Everyone outside of Philadelphia wanted to witness Missouri’s Death Star exploding. But Alderaan’s beloved team is unavailable to advance. Episode IX was better plotted than the play calling. Maybe that sneak will work next time.
Precedent is unhelpful. Aligning with the City of Brotherly Love’s raging Kelly-clad fans two years ago doesn’t make defaulting to the less unappealing choice any easier today. The Bills are experts at repeating history.
Sean McDermott’s habit of getting interested in football midway through the second quarter set the tone, I’m afraid. Showing up unprepared surprised the Chiefs. But not every startling move pays off. Getting ready during halftime is the second-best plan aside from being prepared from the start. Everyone who watched the Bills throughout this season warned their wont to indulge in a lazy Sunday would catch up to them. The CliffsNotes franchise had no answers for exam questions.
Thirty-one aspirants have to beat one particular competitor to not only advance but be considered the best. One would figure the Bills would’ve preferred a playoff matchup against the team they beat versus the one that beat them. But Houston would’ve offered more of a challenge than Kansas City in the same strictly technical sense that Jimi Hendrix is a one-hit wonder. Context overrules regular-season results.
Place the latest season-ending loss in the context of previous trauma to exacerbate aching. The over/under on Jim Nantz mentioning 13 seconds was .5 seconds. The under won. But bringing up the most gut-wrenching of the many entrants is merely part of a series that’s unavoidable. Any sensible bettor would wager that the trend will continue. Stefon Diggs flew to Kansas City to watch the Chiefs celebrate.
A trip back in time is most frustrating when we can’t warn travelers about the future. The game started with 2018 Josh Allen playing in 2025. The most valuable player in every sense conducted himself like he was nervous, which is understandable in that he is responsible for the city’s chances, hopes, and economy. Being too amped up hampered Allen earlier in his career. Settling down led to Buffalo’s best chance, which in turn led to it being wasted.
Allen is the very last person to blame for the NFL’s present postseason certainty. He doesn’t play defense on top of only catching one pass this year. Surrendering 34 points per game to Kansas City in the playoffs is curious for a club with an erstwhile defensive coordinator at head coach. The Bills tackle like I’m dealing with my problems.
Brandon Beane lost the latest round to the Chiefs. There’s an easy way to check how poorly a team has drafted. Kaiir Elam going in for injury injures the defense. This era’s most notorious first-round bust competed with Rasul Douglas and Damar Hamlin to see who’s the chain’s weakest link. None of them maintained integrity, so I’ll rule it a tie. Hamlin came back to life to play. I didn’t say he played well.
If the Bills don’t want people noting they acquired Keon Coleman and not Xavier Worthy, they should stop the latter from scoring. The receiver they waited to take makes the contrast vaster. Buffalo’s underwhelmingly overestimated rookie caught a single pass for a dozen yards, but at least he’s hilarious in that winter coat.
The AFC championship has become an event to see whose performance gets wasted. There was no room, which didn’t deter James Cook. It’s the 21st century and pro football, which means the Chiefs never expected the option. And they certainly didn’t think he’d balance his way to a touchdown on his hand like a b-boy. Breakdancing would still be in the Olympics if America sent Cook to Paris.
Winning despite how they play is Kansas City’s new signature just like Buffalo falling short is their old one. McDermott will find a way to fall short. Momentum favors the Chiefs whether they seize or are handed it.
Fate is on Kansas City’s side if it’s controlled by Roger Goodell. It sure seems like the NFL is into ensuring bliss for one particular reigning champion. No, the league’s not biased in Kansas City’s favor. Now, here’s a review absurdly in their favor between a commercial starring Patrick Mahomes and a shot of that irksome tone-deaf bore of a pop singer who’s allegedly dating the raged-out tight end.
The Bills did not make the line to gain, according to guest referee Christian Okoye. Brett Hull may as well have scored the ensuing touchdown. The NFL doesn’t want to move past primitive officiating to robotic imaging because removing human judgment would prevent them from playing favorites.
Excusers of officiating ineptitude neglect how it’s tough enough to win with even chances. Shifting momentum is paired with taking an opportunity from one offense and giving it to another to make the rule enforcement squad an active participant. You can guess which side they took.
Are fans upset with coaching, officiating, or play? Yes. Cheering may seem straightforward, but complications make feelings complex in a focused way. Our favorite team’s least favorite tight end sabotaged them with a rare cameo. Dalton Kincaid could’ve been a hero if he caught a pass, so forget it. It seemed like he had ghosted his employer. The only thing worse than Kincaid disappearing is him arriving. Nothing summarizes the Josh Allen era better than a teammate flubbing a remarkable attempt created out of nothing.
The Bills are my favorite thing and I hate them. Trying to make the case that fate doesn’t despise us gets a little trickier every year. An entire universe constructed to make us sad churns on while operating naturally. George Costanza’s personality could be explained by him cheering for the Bills as much as his parentage. Life does have meaning; it’s just that said meaning revolves around making involuntary participants hate it. The distraction from the everyday abyss of despair ends with identical aggravation.
This team contributes to our understanding of existence in its way. Screwing over themselves by wasting a generational opportunity with a singular talent is so in character that it would’ve been surprising to not lose to the Chiefs by one score. Football and life are predictable if you step back and notice patterns.
