Tech companies are stuck in ancient times. The anachronism is not even fun in ridiculousness. Modern practitioners of yellow journalism suck, of course, which is as redundant as noting anonymous Twitter users can be unkind. No, you’re a loser nerd.

The concept was remarkable, which makes it getting ruined particularly woeful. It’s a swell idea to share anything with everyone just like it’s horrendous how those who created the platforms restrict access like they own a club. Your bottle service emporium is sure to stay trendy forever.

The difference between modern inventions in theory and practice is like getting to access all programming ever and watching Friends again. I wonder if if the annoying one who whines about a cushy life will end up with the other annoying one who whines about a cushy life.

There was joyous independence in being our own editors for a few months. Arranging our own news feeds was supposed to be the whole appeal of these glowing screens in our pockets. Contributing made it even more fun, as you could put out content you’d like for others while curating your own feed. But we still had publishers all along who revoked unlimited access.

Foolishly deciding for yourself what ideas might be worthwhile was for the antiquated era of 2015. Your feeds have been commandeered on your benighted behalf. Next, you’ll be taught how to not slam your hand in the car door. Omniscient providers are not going to use technology that allows everyone to have a printing press capable of sending pamphlets instantly globally through the ether to let independent thinking thrive.

As with everything else somehow run by liberals, information apps think society needs guidance from benevolent genius autocrats. Politicians deciding society’s direction are the elected version of Twitter disclaimers. Someone who thought posting texts publicly was a revolutionary idea certainly knows how civilization should evolve.

True wisdom takes the form of trusting others to be wise. Any really brave information CEO would create a café for debate and not tell customers what subjects are appropriate. We can determine which patrons are lunatics and ignore their remarks. But our hosts want to virtually assign tables.

Users can find a variety of tweets explaining why bitching for the government to take charge is swell for a few more moments. Conservatives upset at liberal bias decide to act like liberals. Trump-style alleged independence fans are demanding regulation, because Washington surely knows how to force those sharing ideas to be fair. Overseeing tweets is as constitutional as it is wise.

Calling for elected arrogant dolts to boss around tech companies is a dial-up idea. Regulation will calcify what should be the most fluid industry. It’s tough for someone with a novel idea to break in when the behemoth is granted state protection.

Submission actually preserves market domination in one of those unintended delights government is so swell at inadvertently creating. Virtual conglomerates are fine with being controlled because it keeps out competitors. Why do you think they’re so liberal?

Anyone sick of Twitter Moments lecturing you about misgendering should allow the vacuum to get filled. It just takes permitting the sort of creativity that allowed present virtual monoliths to get started. Either present sites let users have their say or the alternative to it will be invented in five minutes.

Now get to work. Build your own competitor, or look for one to support if you’re not skilled at computer voodoo. If the store won’t stock your Twitter alternative, establish your own marketplace, too. Most of the AOL chatroom’s residents said it’d be a swell idea to not presume an online concern will stay relevant. The others asked what we were wearing.

Nobody on my buddy list would ever steer me wrong. Those who truly trust entrepreneurship are fast-forwarding the marketplace of ideas like it’s an ad on the DVR. Presuming truth will win out is only tough for those who presume nobody else can figure out facts.

The inevitability of arrogance explains every creepy CEO who started a way of yapping through space beams. They understand how phones work while having no clue about the beings using them.

Facebook is a permanent part of our modern world, according to Facebook. Presuming they’ll be around forever is exactly what disposable entities want you to think.

None of the apps on your personal screen will ever change, which is why you have to tie up the phone line to read this on the family’s Gateway. As for the present fleeting titans of online communication, everyone uses them but nobody enjoys them, which is a bad sign for aspiring tyrants craving endless conquest.

The ether only feels monolithic. Monopoly takes forever because cornering the market is futile. Tearing apart friends and families is the only amusing part of trying to eliminate competition. Why would I want to get out of jail?

If there’s any industry that is conducive to turmoil, it’s one where you don’t have to own a factory to build a company. Technology is supposed to enable those with swell ideas even if they have few physical resources. Humans are a step closer to essentially becoming brains in jars, which is reflected in how our corporate titans don’t own office towers.

Nothing is libertarian-minded like trusting the best ideas are going to win. Instead, the least godlike amongst us have decided that fate has entrusted them with shaping humanity. Meanwhile, they wouldn’t know how to interact with a barista. Jack knows jack.

Ingratitude is the hallmark of modern pinkos. Entities that used freedom to create methods for communicating with anyone instantly don’t trust others to use the same lack of oversight for good. Self-appointed gatekeepers determined to clamp down on icky dissent, particularly from horrible conservatives with their natural rights and desire to keep what’s earned.

Don’t play along by relinquishing those very principles by demanding federal control of a cyber-newspaper. I may give MySpace another chance. I hope my pals are still there and understand why I haven’t been posting.

Cranky as a lifestyle choice.