Promise to Lie

Political promises aren’t coming true. And gravity makes things fall. We reside in the rather futuristic year of 2021, which is apparently a time for nuking the rubble. People aren’t about to learn from endless examples, and they’re certainly not going to cause strife by checking facts.

Acting suspiciously would interfere with the euphoria of office-holders guaranteeing prosperity if we choose properly. Don’t unholster flat pocket computers that allow us to confirm what we see. It would be too shocking to learn that those in office are to truth what J.J. Abrams is to satisfying narratives.

Life is kind, hopeful, and prosperous as long as you’re not experiencing it. Every last thing is swell, according to the present president’s volunteer press secretaries employed by news outlets. We scold journalists for blatant bias, but isn’t it better to have private corporations pay salaries of Democratic employees than taxpayers? Sure, Joe Biden hasn’t done and won’t do anything worthwhile. But the limitations of the office and himself shouldn’t interfere with pretending he was going to mandate joy.

An infection ignoring election results is just one more sign of its indifferent cruelty. Doesn’t this total non-bioweapon have any regard for the latest installment of hope manifesting itself with the election of a clueless Democrat?

Perhaps the victory itself was insufficient. Biden didn’t quite have a plan to stop the virus unless announcing he’s going to stop it counts. I checked the death clock, and it’s lamentably still rolling.

The plan to listen to scientists was complicated by his penchant for surrounding himself only those who agree with him. Those in the job category are apparently forbidden to disagree, which doesn’t sound all that scientific. He may as well have proclaimed he was going to listen to politicians. Gluing masks to faces until 2057 may help as long as correlation and causation are now identical. Easy suckers are at best admitting a virus spreads no matter how many businesses are sacrificed to controlled burns.

The inability of your elected overlords to achieve anything more complicated than donning socks shouldn’t be breaking news. Yet an alarming percentage of humans persist in thinking life is a problem government is supposed to cure. The remedy resembled fixing broken bones with sledgehammers. One more strike should reset it. A noticeable limp is what you get for trusting a political science major with your health care.

The falsely idealistic automatically figure that, say, there’s no way to obtain insurance without federal assistance. People could just buy it, I suppose. But it’s super mean to make people spend their own funds on something they use. Products would be cheap precisely because government isn’t spending what’s plundered on a service offered by companies with guaranteed customers. The solution causing the problem is no reason to get upset.

The reflex to believe a campaign guarantee will become governing reality is lamentably bipartisan. A disturbingly high percentage of Republicans who are allegedly understandably skeptical about government ever creating value merely want their own awesome messiah to heal our broken world. Please brace before recalling Donald Trump claiming he was an outsider who’d fix what those earlier schmucks couldn’t. Meanwhile, true believers are still waiting for the wall to appear. The fearless business titan who gets things done was just a more forthright liar, which any Atlantic City resident could’ve told you.

Humans should know politicians aren’t necessarily committed to truthfulness. Figuring it out by kindergarten is on par with learning to tie one’s own shoes. But we’re living in a Velcro world. Many mental toddlers still believe government is a magical entity that can deem things free. Thorough savings haven’t yet materialized despite decades of defiantly voting against math, but that’s just because dubious heathens don’t believe hard enough.

The most basic civic virtue is conservative by nature, as presuming anyone who gets rich holding office is full of it limits government. Despising a rotten fibbing human who needs your vote to get a job may promise to make life paradisiacal should be the normal setting. This world sure seems to resemble a sewer every time authority intervenes. Giving dolts your money to get rich is a rather expensive lesson, especially considering it’s taught repeatedly without retention.

Anyone capable of noticing patterns can’t believe it needs to be said that those craving voting-based jobs are a bit flexible with the truth. The best case is utter incompetence after actually getting the position. Hiring managers should know what sounds like an exaggeration of qualifications.

Some observers may have grown cynical enough to think the elected may not have meant to do anything they announced. Alarmingly frequent majorities conclude presumptions are bound to become reality, which makes it precisely the opposite of how it is.

A country even more freaking trillions in debt withstands another transitional period where we see promises turn into shortcomings that’d be laughable were they not so expensive. Don’t worry, as pretending be honest is merely an issue with every politician in history. The only present difference features having the media on Biden’s side as he promised to make us as rich as him. There are only so many people who can profit despite uselessness, and most of them already hold temporary federal positions.



Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store