Rabidness on the Line

Leftist cultists understandably do anything they can to avoid interacting with the world. This place is so mean with its consequences, especially the outside part. People notice cause and effect out there. Don’t look up from your phone if you need to leave the bubble for plant-based snacks.

Indulging woke pandering requires heading to a place where even the theoretical doesn’t work. Try nowhere. This futuristic cyberspace virtual universe is the perfect place to reside if you’re trying to avoid indignities like rebuttals and outcomes.

Claims have never been easier to verify. You don’t have to take my word for it. Every person is a fact-checker, or at least should be. Reviewing assertions is remarkably easy, which makes the Washington Post and PolitiFact sucking at it despite being alleged professionals that much more shameful.

Or, trust Karine Jean-Pierre as the ultimate arbiter of truth. Very skeptical humans who think government’s job is to do everything but fight crime are particularly stubborn about checking their own claims, which is particularly annoying when doing so takes as little typing as tweeting that we’ll be safe once cops have no money. Dealing with actuality is far trickier when you avoid researching in favor of seeking likes for claiming America still benefits from slavery.

The shrillest fanatics are not going to look up anything elitist like facts. Everyone can access all the information ever with a few touches. But typing a couple words seems like a total hassle. That’s after opening the app, ugh.

Pious ignorance is reaffirmed during virtual circle jerks. Don’t you dare presume the identities of participants. Reaffirming a distortion is a sick fetish, although we’re never supposed to issue judgment on the screwed-up perversions of others.

Companies are not selling their products. It’s no wonder the economy blows. Sellers seeking praise from social justice specialists have little concern for quality control. The serotonin hit provided by retweets and replies doesn’t just apply to individuals. And you thought corporations weren’t people.

Peddling smugness is apparently more worthwhile than getting cash in exchange for services. Social media preeners will never buy a thing despite vowing to spend all their discretionary income plus some of their rent money on stuff sold by companies whose social media accounts condemn the Second Amendment or the right of the unborn to emerge.

Online followers praising lunacy doesn’t seem to be a wise business plan. Companies who follow it deserve to vacate their world headquarters. They’ll naturally blame free enterprise for failing. Obeying loathers of it kind of seems like they weren’t obeying market forces all along. But there’s nobody to point out the error in the online equivalent of an economics class full of pinkos.

Saying things makes them so. I was told such. Shrieking internet residents who debate whether smashing capitalism or the patriarchy takes precedence would never steer me wrong. It’s a bit challenging to debate in quarters where histrionic leftist doctrine is treated like it creates both prosperity and election wins.

The sort of people who think Joe Biden is a cool old pal are undoubtedly in touch with results. The awesome dude they wish was their grandpa will save us from inflation and skyrocketing gas prices caused by some mean conglomerate.

Unforgivable student loan forgiveness means students majored in theft. Constant self-righteous calls infest Twitter like useless degrees. If sanctimonious moaners spent as much time earning as they do demanding to not pay bills, they would’ve made enough to cover costs.

Of course, it’s tough to find something productive after purchasing an education that didn’t seem to feature much acquisition of knowledge. Buying something useless will make anyone feel like disputing the charge, which should provide incentive to not buy something without value in the first place.

The presumption government could fix anything if only it were allowed to intervene will surely lead to fulfillment. Looking for dissent means dealing with icky bigoted Republicans who think people are capable of spending what they earned. It’s much easier to announce politicians more worried about collecting blood-covered currency from the gun lobby than check just how much crime happens in locales where only the law-abiding can’t obtain them. Statistics are so impersonal.

Ganging up on those who notice biology is not quite the most logical way to be scientific. The nerve of using pronouns that weren’t selected that morning must be punished with banishment. Forgiveness is for the weak, according to the open-minded. There’s no more heinous crime in these modern times than deadnaming someone. Actual felonies get excused away. Can you believe more things are getting stolen?

Noting the internet is not like real life has been in vogue since AOL chatrooms. The claim is inaccurate in the sense each account is operated by humans, aside from the Instagram accounts that are suspiciously interested in experiencing my romantic overtures.

But the point remains that cyber-participants don’t have to worry about an instant response in person. Ghastly invective spewed from behind a screen is as shameful as concluding anyone who wants marriage to be how it always was until a couple years ago is tacitly revealing a desire to jail those attracted to the same gender.

It’s as tough to sense eye rolls online as it is sarcasm. Foes of contemporary daftness just have to learn to not pander to maniacs as you would politely. You’d excuse yourself from someone at a bar or wedding reception explaining how pronouns save lives. Avoiding the irritating is even easier to do so with a block button.

Cranky as a lifestyle choice.

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