Retiring a Bad Deal

Anthony Bialy
4 min readAug 19, 2024

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You’ll continue to get a trifling return for a lifetime of forced investment. That’s the optimist’s take, as maybe you’ll get nothing. Worry might actually be prudent. But the guy from the party once known for caring about how money works is the opposite of concerned, so why would you be?

Donald Trump does the thinking for you, which is why you should stay home and wait for your glorious Social Security pittance. But maybe control of how much we’ll have to plunk into slot machines while getting through the last precious moments of our time existing shouldn’t be in control of the sort of government where people like recent hires can be president. The worst retirement plan possible is a term like Secret Service where both words are lies. If anyone should be aware, it’s the technical Republican.

Getting interest for the privilege of involuntary contributions is so selfish. Think of the greater good instead of the unneeded items you want to buy. A bank wouldn’t stay in business if they gave you nothing for the privilege of holding your cash. But removing competitors is government’s specialty.

An emblematically lousy deal sums up government, but that’s only a small benefit. Nothing represents having life ruined by law like having to rely on the dole upon deciding to no longer work.

A rotten policy is naturally not conservative. Coercion axiomatically leads to skimpy returns, which is the natural outcome of the public sector’s take on effort. You’re obligated to pay into a lockbox which is not locked. Only Washington owns the key, anyway. Selfless politicians may have borrowed a bit from your survival cache, but they replaced currency with IOUs they’re totally going to repay right after they make health care affordable.

Social Security is economically awful, which is why the universe’s best businessman endorses it. A real visionary tough guy who understood finances would propose letting employees keep what they earn and recommend some financial wizards who could perform the magic trick of giving you more money than you contributed. For now, your pile’s disappearing. Abracadabra!

You have your choice of who will bankrupt you. Either the Republican who claims to be conservative and spends or Democrat who admits to be liberal and spends will win. The only reason Kamala has a chance tries to outflank her by proclaiming he’s more enthusiastic about spending what had been yours. Rejecting liberty allows for possibly blowing the most winnable election possible, but it’s all upside otherwise.

Take comfort in knowing things aren’t about to get better, as there’s no other option. America is going to be stuck with staggering debt until at least 2029. Some grownup who accepts the job is going to have to plan an even more massive cleanup. The figurative real adult will undoubtedly be younger than Trump unless they nominate Zombie Bob Dole. By contract, the contender who’s spent years eligible for Social Security is as immature as his romantic conquests.

Problems persist until potential solvers take them seriously. Like is indifferently mean in that way. Donald Trump is not who serious people choose to fix problems. In a republic, shirking retirement planning to a conman is a choice.

A chronic bullplopper is finally honest at the worst time. The ostensible Republican is not lying with a promise to reverse Franklin Roosevelt’s signature invasion. Dependency will still feel inevitable, so don’t worry about him breaking his word. The fiction that government can keep you safe represents everything his party used to stand against. But that was before pretending to be conservative became as popular as pretending to be strong.

Trump embraces a mandated tax like it’s a porn star. An alleged investment is so lousy that only liberals could think it’s wise. That brings us to the candidate of the erstwhile conservative party. You should know you’re a RINO if you think government doing nothing with your backing but pilfering it constitutes a poor deal.

The unabashed endorsement of reliance on an emptied chest to survive through death is almost refreshing aside from the looming debt crisis. You should get back what you paid in. Or you could not pay in the first place, but that seems complicated. The free-spending alleged small-government fan thinks it’s what Republicans want, as parroting back what he thinks his audience wants to hear defines the person who thinks you’re impressed by seeing his name in gold as he dates European models.

Suckered Americans get nothing in return, which is why the program is Trump’s favorite. Social Security sounds like a fair deal based on his record of commercial underdelivering. He naturally doesn’t realize why he likes what he does. The ego master lets his id do the talking. A chance to be disappointed again is the whole reason to back him again.

The continual disappointment of the federal retirement scheme to bankroll the Werther’s budget is more of a steady disappointment. Either way, politicians who want to maintain coercion are harming geezers as much as the beloved awful program they don’t have the guts to touch.

Advising workers to stick a little cash in a mutual fund would be both the wise thing to do for a party that values independence and president who knows business. Trump is neither while faking embodying both. Like the unfulfilled fantasy about having a special retirement stash that the Treasury protected just for you, the fantasy is all that matters to voters. Cagey elders shouldn’t expect Trump to have learned empathy because he’s past retirement age.

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