Retro Problems
Not every throwback is fun like garish ’70s jerseys or the McRib. Problems that had disappeared are re-emerging just upon the implementation of political trends that shredded protection. Coincidences create wonder. Thoughtful leaders brought back agony so we remember to remain grateful for those fleeting moments when life was comfortable.
Minders of their own business could once safely stroll down metropolitan avenues. This wasn’t in ancient times, either. Seinfeld was only on once per week, and we hadn’t seen every episode 50 times. Jerry and George often promenaded along New York Street while debating awkward social niceties. They were free to bicker about the inconsequential without concern for impending victimhood. The days of liberated urban exploration notably happened after the invention of the handgun, which is the moment in human history when Democrats think crime was invented.
Welcome new neighbors on that grassy spot where you used to play hacky sack. You don’t have a choice. Bring a basket filled with tasty delights to really warm that house. A tent counts. Some visitors who don’t concern themselves with tedious paperwork commit a second crime to express true gratitude for their host. You’ll be branded racist for classifying people who immigrate illegally as illegal immigrants.
Parties cooperate on the wrong things. Today, they come together to spend seized funds better than heedless earners. Those who miss being not ripped off miss bipartisan opposition to felonies. It’s not mere nostalgia to think times were better when Democrats adopted conservative aversion to coddling criminals. The party of parole didn’t believe in anything regressive like punishment. But professional vote harvesters at least had enough sense to stay in business.
Keeping citizens from not dashing to preserve their lives would seem to be a rather obvious are for overlap. But concluding that criminals are oppressed is a logical result of an illogical political philosophy. We’ll continue debating whether they once possessed the decency to oppose crime or were deeply committed to the principle of being re-elected by people who weren’t mugged on the way to polling places.
Treating police as oppressors and thieves as the oppressed is part of a whimsical commitment to pretending reality isn’t real. It turns out the former were protecting from the latter. Also, cars don’t run very far on karma, but let’s deal with one Democratic boast at a time. Lax law enforcement is a crime against the truly vulnerable, namely low-income urban dwellers who really appreciate the lack of gentrification that keeps their areas dangerous. Irony is tough to appreciate while dodging projectiles.
Financial experts never knew that money could be worth less. Inflation is horrible trick performed by Democratic magicians who make your savings disappear. Spending what’s left is tricky considering handouts shot many erstwhile poor people into luxurious tax brackets. Giving away fortunes that suddenly become pittances is just another cruel outcome that shows how reality works, which is why liberals hate it.
Bonus money was supposed to prompt wealth same way overpaying fast food workers was supposed to make them rich. Instead, it only made them unable to afford fast food. A living wage becomes unlivable. The solution must be to raise it more so we’re all finally rich.
Statists went truly old school by bringing back the plague. Communism’s imitators expressed admiration for the source by cavalierly confiscating rights. You were protected by your guardians except for the healthy part. Governmental supervisors know just how you should think and act. Why else would they be in power?
They’d order you to forget if they could. Moving past the casual tyranny imposed while stopping a vigorous cold meant a once-productive nation manufactured only depression. The economy may as well have been living in a New York nursing home.
The same goons who still bafflingly retain offices want you to forget that they confiscated liberty in order to keep you healthy and left you broke and broken. Acting like finances can be turned off and on is just like trying to send everyone more cash than they can spend. All success takes is ignoring what happens at the checkout.
Dismantling protections they claim are repressive shows why values may be neutral. Vigorous law enforcement repressed robbery and poverty. Not reporting crime is failing to work as well unless you’re the sort of willing sucker who believes life has grown exceptionally comfortable during this rather sophisticated decade.
Professional dismantlers with an amateur sense of how society works tell you how life should work. Innumerable victims could’ve done without the illustration of just why safeguards were in place. Gun control and crime soaring simultaneously form some sort of graph.
Liberals are only happy when they’re bitching about how unfair life is. They make it that way to ensure their dreams stay true. A unique talent we’d rather they didn’t utilize is imposed by coercion like everything else they believe. There might be a better method, but they’re not clever enough to think of it.