Rewriting the Race
Prepare to flaunt your choice of which abomination you think should be head of state for an eternal four years. A republic offers opportunities to flaunt free will. The AI revolution is here as we’re forced to accept grotesque imitations vaguely representing a warped version of humanity. Tricky thinking machines made human counterparts decide between self-parodies.
Caricature candidates aren’t as fun as the booth at the fair would have us believe. Maybe we should try dune buggies. Our cursed decision will be amongst hopefuls who are all prominent without deserving the acclaim that comes from a worthwhile candidate following them back.
One day of fame would be too much for each. The sickening portrayal of each of their respective roles shows politics at its worst, which is ruefully amusing for an election with the most inside outsiders possible. Don’t indulge messianic tendencies by seeing them as they want. Feeding egos of the worst possible choices is a role we don’t need to endorse. Spot fellow patriots with They Live sunglasses, which they’ll also be wearing.
Unearned wealth is a sure sign of not being connected. An alternative who’s as contemptible as the mainstream competitors brings thoroughness. A different take on equality makes everyone miserable. This era is full of new approaches, amongst other seemingly innocuous things.
Determining which superficial style of subjecting eager subjects to tyranny appeals to you is the trendy personality test. Decide if you want to align with conventional liberals spending your money very wisely in a way you never imagined, a new style of conservatism where Americans get bullied by an overbearing government in front of a flag while Lee Greenwood sings, or extracting fluoride from drinking water and sending it into space so Big Vaccine can’t recapture it to poison us. Expanding power in order to maintain control would be awful if one of those other two did it. Trust the one person who wants to confiscate autonomy to help you in your life.
Getting wealthy off whatever policies he pursues is how Democrats use politics to benefit the unfortunate. Diamond Joe Biden’s externally-appointed heir Kamala Harris shares the common trait of possessing a fortune despite never creating value. Cynics call it corruption, which is just a fancy word used by those not clever enough to grift. Ripping off the productive in order to enrich himself shows how the aspiring replacement thinks everyone else is also a parasitic schemer.
Kamala’s current boss relinquished the title when enough of the committee that runs the White House badgered him about his brain going off the rails like one of his beloved choo-choos. The mob family’s technical patriarch just wanted to ensure his bequest to America by ensuring any successor would pimp the same toxic ideology. Substitute teacher Mrs. Harris won’t bring a new lesson plan.
Kamala is not going to do anything undignified like working. That icky option is for people who don’t screw their way into politics. Besides, what would she do? There’s nothing impossible like Harris creating something valuable. The inability of the grabby party to grasp basic interactions leads to poverty and theft, which don’t even mesh on account of how few possessions there are to steal. Flaunting their belief in empathy as overcompensation is as old as the erstwhile candidate outflanked out of the election.
The aspiring supplicant isn’t a leader, businessman, conservative, hero, inspirer, achiever, or advancer. But he is a telemarketer, so he’s in the right business. Donald Trump appeals to the bloc that still has landlines. The perpetual hopeful yells at another household member to answer.
Someone of Trump’s age who shares his distaste for learning anything new feels he is the voice of a generation. The question of how anyone could still be falling for him is has the same answer as why timeshares remain a business. This is the least slick seduction yet.
It’s hard to mock royalty while the least deserving family maintains power despite being wholly unqualified. The junior Robert Kennedy remains the prototypical entitled brat no matter how old he gets. A combination of leftist lunacy with lunatic conspiracies is the genie’s take on a challenge to the establishment as he laughs about the granted wish. Privilege’s embodiment is paranoid about all the wrong things, which is such a Kennedy move.
There’s finally an alternative when voters have never more craved looking just a bit lower on the ballot. We just couldn’t get to back someone from a family nobody’s ever heard of to become executive. The late-model Kennedy continues the clan’s bootlegging tradition by ripping off deranged notions in order to avoid productivity.
We already know. Of the woeful triumvirate, not one deserves to water your plants. One has been in politics for as long as he’s been in business for as long as he’s been the son of a nepotism beneficiary. The combined 150 years in the public exposure has led to consistently regrettable knowledge. Each gets worse the more we learn. This is not the sort of bipartisan amity that’s typically envisioned.
Dread is the worst when it’s predictable. Sure, it’s not fun when woe sneaks up on us and throws us into its panel van. But the jolt is outweighed by a rather uncomfortable predictability.
Details about each unfortunate competitor offer the worst sort of spoilers. Feel free to decline. You don’t owe anyone any vote, which is a notion that outrages cults. Siphoning off an equal quantity of tallies from all of them outrages the worst assortment of swamp goons.
Self-proclaimed enemies of politics ensure this is the most political race possible. Doing the opposite of what’s claimed is as perfect for elections as it is 2024. Obnoxious shills for inane fictional machinations thought they were eschewing traditional corruption. Cultists prefer getting ripped off by those who proclaim they’re clean. The biggest phonies imaginable usually isn’t a surprise in this miserable arena. A professed opposition to it is this year’s twist.
Lousy primary outcomes offer the chance to use old school technology. The chance to use a pen is just one of the fun parts of voting for anyone you prefer. It’s so easy to write someone in that even Democrats could figure it out.
A choice of millions just takes one filled oval. Americans who didn’t even realize it are running for president. The luxury of three whole candidates feels indulgent, but decadent comrades could flaunt disgust with a chunk of votes for anyone else.
