RFK? LOL OK
The one pretending to no longer be a Democrat endorsed the other. Robert Kennedy Junior and Donald Trump are both ostensibly party-hoppers. But you can feel assured that the new partners will continue to tell you how to live while indulging in the wrong kind of paranoia. The perfect matches can forward emails featuring supposed election thieves and rotten trope-based slurs to each other.
The ultimate self-made man is so dedicated to being his own person that he uses his initials. That includes the middle one, which coincidentally was the same letter used by some other political figure. Why should it be Junior’s fault that styling his name in that random manner brings to mind whoever his father was?
Noting who the family is is the family business. A bootlegger spawned a series of increasingly undeserving generations. I’d trust Uncle Ted as a driving instructor before anything his shrillest nephew claims about the environment melting.
Do as you’re told to establish independence. Sophisticated modern Republicans are not going to adhere to preposterous concepts based in sensible ideas. There’s no need for constitutional fidelity and the same tax rate for all when you can dominate anyone who won’t submit.
You’re obeying the will of which people? Populism is another term for what a lot of dolts believe. The most awful conspiracy dreck paired with innate negativity have replaced hopes of ever getting government out of insurance. The potential new HHS secretary will see to that.
RFK Junior pairing with Trump is like chocolate with peanut butter for the tasteless. There’s no need to shepherd the easily guided with anything inspirational or helpful or true. Just claim the whole system is crooked to produce a gritty Network reboot.
Thorough corruption must be the reason why the fearless outsider and biggest winner couldn’t drain the swamp or beat Joe Biden. Everyone’s out to get you except for the person who told you that, of course. He’s the only honest man, and it’s a blessing that you’re able to discern such.
You want an old hand at lunacy by your side. J.D. Vance is only the pretend underling now. The amateur can’t keep up with the new trendy hire.
Professional plotter Kennedy has been at the forefront of every major bit of nonsensical blather of his adult lifetime. What’s the craziest of the insanity? There’s nobody who hates needles more than the premier enemy of vaccines, and not just the slapdash glorified flu shot that got hastily churned out by contemporary troglodytes who purport to believe in science. Harming children by encouraging their parents to not protect them from disease is his gift to the next generation.
Kennedy’s demented haranguing about what’s good for kids is particularly rich for someone claiming what’s on cafeteria trays is poisoned, as of course Trump does now. Processing food makes it deadly, according to advocates of consuming dirt. There’s nothing new about his presumption that the baseless is accurate. Claiming the CIA murdered his relatives is one way to respect them and reality.
The saboteur is the loudest one on stage. The real intrigue centers around why Republicans are pretending their party hasn’t been commandeered by someone who’s only principle is collecting genuflecting. Whatever those he deems to be worthwhile claim is treated as absolute truth. The new alleged pal could claim jet fuel can’t melt steel and get thunderous applause from the red hat brigade. I hope he doesn’t try it to see.
A person who’s never had to carry cash established what his soul is worth. Those who aren’t for sale are left out. The alliance of one angry ranter who’s prominent despite sense and decency with the other makes sick sense. People who just want fewer federal agencies have nowhere to hang out. Now, there’s an establishment to battle.
A Kennedy sucking up to a Trump should irk fans of both. The prototypical sellout must be running out of money his ancestors pilfered. That’d be quite a legacy. Everyone else is a RINO, claims the person who’s now BFF with the embodiment of Democrats. And Trump will be way softer on Cuba and taxes than his buddy’s presidential uncle.
It’s easy to guess which side has shifted leftward when both do so. The one in question used to at least pretend to favor a smaller government. Thinking an alliance with the nasal scold reflects poorly on the Democratic Party is surely not a sign of getting the deal’s raw end, so block that idea out of mind. Trump is the best businessman ever, remember? Nobody’s had a good steak since he stopped peddling them on QVC.
Pretending the debt accumulator who runs away from conflict is a fearless conservative is fitting for dupes who think believing the most outlandish claims keeps them from being gullible. The ostentatiously suspicious think their prophet outfoxed foes by getting a presidential dropout on his side when it really means Republicans nominated an unhinged liberal. The useless parasitic progeny aligned with the son of shady real estate tyrant in the name of common values.
Liberal schemes are now part of the Republican enterprise. Teaming up with someone who’s tiresome even for a Kennedy is actually perfect for Trump. The loyalty baron didn’t just happen to go with the guy set up by his rich father: the tag team is on a quest to claim they’re outsiders while uniting with the worst of the insiders. Doing so at the same time embodies efficiency. That’s the closest the new Kennedy faction gets to free markets.
