Scientific Method to Madness

A lack of science permits magic. Who wants to be constrained by natural limits and tedious rigors of experimentation? Expand your imagination, dull bores. Fervent worshipers who suspiciously endorse their fealty to the process secretly loathe the precedent of constancy. Noticing how tendencies repeat is hateful to open-minded zealots dedicated to deducing that whatever’s established doesn’t affect what’s next.

Have you heard who loves science? Alleged adherents will remind you of their dedication in case you haven’t used the process of sound waves to hear previously. The biggest preeners are certainly not overcompensating, so stop thinking like a hater. Psychology is a kind-of science.

Changing the climate of baseless panic would improve the environment. Stop hyperventilating about weather in order to improve the forecast. Over half a century of panic has only increased anxiety for panicky types who bafflingly resent civilization. Doom should’ve come true by now, which mortifies cult leaders who were certain their calculations about the world’s end were accurate.

I must be ignoring how the few parts of the nation that don’t have to wade through the day are too frozen solid to move. There’s no place free of water being irksome, at least if you get your updates about temperature patterns from noted researchers Greta Thunberg and Leonardo DiCaprio.

The self-parodic blame of every weather condition on human activity isn’t making our world warmer. The news occasionally covers hurricanes in places where only a troglodytic rube would think they happen naturally like in warm coastal cities. What next: the northeast endures blizzards? Blustery snowstorms never happened before the invention of the internal combustion engine.

Our fragile sphere is no longer warming except when it happens to be warm. A dedicated marketing effort surely reflects a dedication to facts. Reality just needs a rebrand. Old-timers remember the quaintness of global cooling that was the hip fright around the time of the initial Earth Day. Enjoying life inside is no longer hastening the next ice age by having a civilization.

Altering semantics is not the same as changing outcomes, I regret to inform strident liberals. Climate change ensures the temperature means we’re doomed regardless of whether it goes up or down. Pray to the weather deities to give us just a few consecutive days of identical temperatures.

Cutting down on energy usage is wise on its own. Recognizing which Korea uses more electricity shows how going a bit too far doesn’t really help the Earth or those dwelling on it.

The reality of inevitably facing tradeoffs is crucial to grasping complicated concepts like the value of burning fuel to keep from freezing. Inept conjurers who think government can circumvent drawbacks don’t care for free markets, either, which is why they think they can get rich by printing money instead of working usefully.

Like trying to maintain civilization without keeping power plants purring, discovering that trying to avoid difficulties exacerbates them. Cruel lessons merely reflect more indifference at human sputtering.

Visionaries do everything they can to stick us back to an age named after a raw material. Cruel capitalists try to ruin out world by making fuel burning more efficiently, which is in the interest of both businesses and consumers. The Soviet Union must’ve been an environmental paradise with all that cool planning.

The only way the effort to guilt the world into environmental bliss is if they’re trying to help. Coal-powered extension cord cars feature batteries that couldn’t cause more pollution to make if they were the product of eco-villains that fought G.I. Joe at the toy line’s regrettable end. You’ll never guess what powers smugmobiles. As a hint, it’s not karma. Emissions must be clean if you only see the plug.

There’s good news about gender confusion, as it’s already been decided. Something out of our control is oddly comforting for removing an unnecessary choice. The same very calm and loving people who’d ruin your life for suggesting homosexuality is so acceptable that it’s fine to decide autonomously to made it one’s preference proclaim you’re not the gender you’re born. They would fire you for pondering the logic if they could only read your thoughts. We need a law enabling telepathy.

Woke lunatics in lab coats employ a wholesale dedication to quelling debate that they trust is at science’s core. Stifling debate is the precise opposite, of course. The most zealous are the ones who make their religion look bad. Claim it loud enough and it becomes true if you’re interested in how the new experiments proceed. Thinking the process is ever settled surely respects it.

Shut the hell up unless you want to throw off the conclusion. Irrational shrieking that is very common amongst scientists is designed to shame heretics who possess the temerity to question official conclusions. You came within the two-yardstick bubble and are thus doomed to a lifetime of shame.

It’s sadly predictable that the other beliefs of the suspiciously pious are profoundly unscientific. All a rational case took was seeing what kept happening; there should be a title for the procedure.

By contrast, refusing to perceive causes tremendous pain in actuality. Solving crime by not making the arrested post cash bail doesn’t quite prevent cities from turning into the opening parts of a Batman movie. Taxing success means less working toward it. And health providers don’t care about quality or prices if they know their business is guaranteed. All of liberalism is unscientific. Consistency of beliefs that constitutes a pattern. Naturally, believers don’t notice it.