Sick Experiments

Anthony Bialy
4 min readNov 21, 2022

Believing in science is the most unscientific idea imaginable. Irony is confirmed by research. A declaration of faith regarding the embodiment of skepticism shows true understanding. Giggling while donning lab coats backward distracts from trying to figure out how to don goggles. They just rest on your ears?

Adults struggle to be productive while keeping delinquents away from Bunsen burners. Those who fail to grasp the subject shouldn’t even be allowed to handle safety scissors. Confiscating autonomy is for their own safety and everyone else’s, too. Caring about others means not letting the biggest fakers make decisions.

This method sure doesn’t seem scientific. Those who insist on defying human nature, economics, and reality have their answers already determined, which doesn’t seem like it would please the average chemist. A not particularly clever method for circumventing what happens next hasn’t exactly produced results.

Presume anyone who disagrees is awful as part of a commitment to kind open-mindedness. Branding those with legitimate questions deniers is especially galling when conclusions make liberalism the equivalent of believing the Earth is shaped like a plate.

Flailing about every temperature change makes it tough to enjoy nice seasons. Histrionic liberals should be familiar with weather, which is a fairly common phenomenon. In fact, it happens constantly, according to our present understanding. That’s at least outside. As for those who wish to reside in the past for more than its alleged relative coolness, freaking out at the thermometer does not appease climate gods. There’s been an alarming spike in risible announcements about any high summer temperature or fire in a forest you may be aware is full of wood.

Changing to climate change didn’t trick the Earth into thinking it’s doomed. Literally any variation prompts hollering about this apparently fragile planet’s imminent doom. Our efforts to cool off cruelly make it hotter. I miss when it was 60 degrees and mostly sunny every single day before the invention of air conditioning.

Gaia cultists are as good at science as they are at rhetorical trickery. Fanatics are surely conforming to facts when they must change terms like a public relations campaign. Global warming didn’t quite pan out, which means a rise in human-caused language melting. We certainly aren’t going to return to fretting about global cooling like primitive dolts fretted about at the First Earth Day. Those benighted troglodytes weren’t geniuses like today’s enlightened academics who think updating terms because their last one didn’t pan out reflects a new understanding of events.

Abortion is about controlling women as long as you ignore sonograms. Oh: a baby can grow inside. Noticing how life starts is portrayed as reverting to prehistoric times by those whose self-righteousness is surely logical. People can’t afford baby food that is unavailable, anyway.

A lifetime spent denying results affects life outside of laboratories. More gun control causes more crime as only the law-abiding obey, economies sputter when politicians attempt to compensate for their previous incursions, and unlimited complimentary health care is super unless you actually want to use some. The case is clear in the real world.

A stubborn refusal to deviate from their precious ideology means never learning why everyone is hurting. The unfailingly stubborn think they have evidence on their side when events contradict them right out front.

Economic science demonstrates the effect of removing motivation and rewards on humans. Recession will remain the conclusion for several quarters.

Deciding that a fearful knee jerk would protect us from passing along the plague is still contagious. The magic cloak fails to perform Harry Potter-style no matter what spell clumsy politicians try. Force people to breathe through cotton in case anxiety wasn’t severe enough without proper respiration. Punishing us like children by making us go to our rooms failed to stop a virus.

Merely citing evidence is hateful in this wholly rational world of ours. Not wearing a mask epitomizes selfishness unless hiding mouths did nothing more than signal virtue. Confiscators of rights got every infiltration they desired for two years. The outcomes made everyone sick. People who managed not to panic are ticked after noticing what those who freaked inflicted on top of global illness.

The worst aftermath of the rampaging disease was making humanity irrationally scared. Justifying endless infiltrations by claiming they’re for safety is a reason as lame as it is eternal. Let’s take rights just to make sure, demand casual tyrants. The only surety was infringing upon basic liberty without legal niceties or practical benefits.

Bothering others is their religion. It’s tough for liberals to claim they want to separate church and state when the state is their church. Even worse, adherents get all the doctrine wrong. Worshiping Washington isn’t bad enough: adulating Joe Biden to form a trinity is the darkest mythology.

Distorting faith in a way that would make Pat Robertson cringe is a nice unintentional touch The most zealous are the least likely to consider facts. Fervency taints the experiment, as seen by how badly the American test subject has reacted to Biden’s demented notions.

Science is a process. That fundamental opener shouldn’t need to be announced. But its alleged defenders need remedial lessons. The ironically ignorant know even less about it than algebra. Rigorous testing is just another basic element they ignore.

Respecting the best present knowledge is anathema to heretics who misinterpret every prophecy. Watch who claims to represent scientific values as they demonize increasing crop yields that prevent starvation as Frankenfoods. Living in fields to reduce carbon footprints wouldn’t help, but it’s not like hypocrites would live up to their shrieking.