Sydney Sweeney’s Enemies Flaunt Bad Genes
Sydney Sweeney can do it all. America’s dream girl even irks the right people better than those who make it their goal to own the libs. She just has to be herself. That makes her infinitely more appealing than the sort of people inventing reasons to lamely try to tear down someone whose looks are only part of the attractiveness they loathe.
Being jealous that she’s better at plays on words comes naturally to the illogically resentful. Reading a script a copywriter cued up for her still sort-of counts. Noticing “jeans” is a homonym for “genes” is the basis for a cute ad campaign that’s innocuous to everyone imbued with sense. That leaves out social justice warriors, who are intrinsically indignant. They started fuming faster about alleged Aryan undertones than their enemy gets a million Instagram likes. Anti-Sydneys believe in collectivism to the point that they want to make everyone else suffer for their joyless warping of reality.
The transgression of having blonde hair and blue eyes is unforgivable to passive activist leftists. It’s the only thing they consider a crime. Meanwhile, Illegal aliens sneak in as their first crime while subway-shoving is New York City’s only thriving industry. Democrats let their constituency commit felonies at will while condemning the model of models for appreciating having worthwhile traits passed down.
Sydney’s a Republican? Fine: I’ll date her. The alleged affiliation further infuriated all the right people who are outraged that a successful actress and model might oppose property taxes. Being reasonable is the worst violation they could imagine.
There are two sides. It’s just that one is preposterous. Exhausting types who attempt to initiate a national conversation about race over a trousers commercial are the same ones kvetching about presenting both cases because they think the one in favor of deporting those not allowed here while lowering taxes is too diabolical to be worth hearing. The same exhausting humans make their case for why the clothier is a secret concentration camp proponent. Journalism is about indulging cranks by pretending they have an argument worth considering.
People who think Sydney tempts in jeans and those who think she’ll soon be starring in an Ilsa: She Wolf of the SS reboot that’ll be a documentary are not equivalent. That won’t stop the ever-fair media from offering both sides even though one is full of insufferable self-parodying lunatics. “Widely-panned” is the journalistic version of claiming Sydney Sweeney isn’t that hot. They do that, too. You’d feel bad for adherents of hideousness if they didn’t inflict their delusions on everyone else.
Daftness dominates. Even noting which people are not serious gets treated seriously. Pretending the least offensive ad campaign possible is the only insidious behavior on display. The American Eagle jeans as a Panzer uniform non-controversy is as silly as the imaginary black Stormtrooper panic, with the difference being you can find leftists who sincerely think Sydney dons denim to pimp master race ideology.
Oh: they’re serious. Amplifying a loud fringe is an attempt to make it go mainstream. Such lunacy occasionally sadly catches on in these allegedly advanced times. Suddenly, Gina Carano isn’t part of the Star Wars universe anymore after believing Baby Yoda’s pronouns are set, J.K. Rowling is treated as worse than Voldemort for knowing magic can’t change genders, and Chick-fil-A is demonized for being run by Christians who make delicious sandwiches.
Selling denim is for greedy merchants who want more money for nothing more than selling things customers want. Spiritual descendants of East Germans already see anyone engaged in commerce as decadently corrupt. If they think there’s a secret message adulating Göring, forget it.
Sending secret messages that can only be read by those with Fourth Reich decoder rings is a war crime only they discern. Sinister dispatches are hidden openly in apparel advertisements. Conglomerates are eagerly supporting the monstrous regime. The fact nobody else sees imminent danger is part of the alarming plan.
American Eagle ironically lured out the Jeans Nazis. Attempting to link casual pants with a rather stringent form of white supremacy means Bizarro Simon Wiesenthals have reached the apex of absurdity. They’re attending a function at their personal Kehlsteinhaus. When one has decided your enemies are purveyors of utter monstrosity, one will find examples without evidence. There’s as much of a case to be made that those who think PBS should be voluntary funded by viewers are Nazis as the casual outfitter in question is.
Do you know what other country used a majestic bird as a symbol? You can practically see the American Eagle logo winking. Things regular people say as jokes are taken seriously by seekers of invisible clues. Thinking the okay symbol means white power served as the eye-rolling precedent. America’s resistance soldiers carry on the legacy of listening to rock records backward. Spotify doesn’t offer the option to hear secret messages from Satan’s messengers, so make sure to support physical media.
Anti-Semites are concerned that Adolph Hitler’s ghost has possessed American Eagle’s CEO. The only thing worse than claiming those who find Sydney Sweeney to be a wise choice for selling bottoms has a Karl Dönitz-autographed swastika under their mattresses is when such a patently absurd case is made by the voluntary Hamas public relations agency. Spot them by how they accuse others of being secret Nazis as they openly back the terror state trying to exterminate the one Jewish country. Controlling others via enforcing their belief system by law comes naturally to the oblivious.
Thankfully, the pathetic manufactured dispute is washing out like barbeque sauce out of indigo-dyed cotton. Pre-treating makes all the difference. Sweetheart Sweeney doesn’t even seem to be aware anyone’s fuming at her, which is the proper response to irrational lunacy. She’s too busy being hot while cashing checks.
Invading retail spaces is part of American Eagle’s goal of domination. Aren’t you alarmed by the authoritarian implications of its name? Or the initials SS of its most prominent employee? If not, I offer congratulations on being normal and decent. The true fascists are trying to make dungarees aficionados feel guilty. Sydney couldn’t be more innocent.
