Trending Foolishly

An especially silly time in a world filled with them hasn’t provoked as much laughter as hoped. Monty Python predicted the future minus the giggling at absurdity. Maybe it just takes perspective to enjoy the genius of surrealism.

Take how foolish present crusades will seem in about five minutes. Sure, railing against America as an intolerant hellhole where you can’t even change your gender on your diver’s license is preposterous now. But mortifying obsolescence in viewpoints approaches soon. Participation in totalitarian demonization features as much foresight as buying a Milli Vanilli cassingle. Girl, you know it’s true.

The days of humans claiming they’re smarter than a disease are past. The side effect will linger along with over 99 percent of survivors. Virus panic remains the precise opposite of scientific, as the shrieking about what type of exhaling would murder us that day didn’t feature much rational calmness. Dispassionate researchers are suddenly known to change their minds like drunks pondering the Taco Bell menu.

Doing nothing might’ve helped more. The infected and deceased toll couldn’t have been worse. We’ve been shrieked at for a year about not daring to interact while being told it keeps the death clock’s digits from flipping, and meanwhile the virus rampaged as humans complied. I blame that spring break beach blast for infecting everyone like a spider web. It couldn’t have been Andrew Cuomo flaunting a commitment to scientific experimentation by showing just what happens when the vulnerable are paired with the infected. Berating anyone buying cereal without fogged glasses definitely kept a few hundred thousand more people from dying.

Mask hysteria is as scientific as the gender flop. Feeling something deeply is the apex of rationality. Blame personal perception replacing methodology in people who swear they’re faithful to science. In an era where “My truth” is an exhaustingly popular expression, facts are subject to interpretation. Reality would laugh at the arrogance were it not indifferent. Human subjectivity isn’t even acknowledged. There’s certainly no folly in claiming to believe evidence while contradicting biology.

Why you hate minorities? Your cracker answer will never suffice. Denying it just means you’re insistent upon bigotry. Racism is so inherent that you don’t even notice it, which is quite a trick by the accusers. They’re the same intellectual warriors who note your denial of oppression just confirms it. The only exercise some people get is running in logical circles.

The notion that anyone is prevented from doing anything in 2021 may not hold up to your ever intolerant scrutiny. But those who think it’s always Selma six decades ago have individual cases to flaunt they think condemn the entirety. That’s totally not the same mindset of racists, so stop noticing commonalities.

Ingrates sure loathe a country whose freedoms they exploit. Condemning America is quite popular amongst a particularly happy category of its citizens who appreciate natural rights and free interaction so much that they can’t stop noting how awful this all is.

This monstrous bordered apocalyptic zone of free will and guns on dining room tables will be awesome once it has the same atrocious insurance forced by government as the rest of this stupid world. And what about poverty caused by liberalism, ask liberals?

Proclaiming nobody should be poor in such a rich society requites not realizing it’s rich precisely because it avoids their advice. There will be plenty more struggling humans to help if statist enthusiasts get policies they crave, and there’s no better way to show how much one cares.

America is so successful that Americans don’t even notice the benefits. Children who never express thanks usually grow up and learn how lucky they were to have caring parents who provided for their needs. Or at least most pouty teenagers grow out of it by the time they’re allowed to buy lottery tickets. By contrast, leftists prefer remaining juveniles. Perpetual brats would only grasp how good they have it were their luxuries of material goods and natural rights taken away. But they never flee to Cuba to check out their ideology in action while they can. Those who hate this racist assemblage of avaricious states never seem eager to flee for some reason.

Cancel culture is as uncultured as humans get. Gleefully virtually burning books doesn’t feature real flames, and the lack of tangible interaction might explain why participants don’t seem as joyous as hoped.

Would you relax? Those policing thought only destroy ideas they find mean. Being afraid to express opinions encourages tolerance. It makes as much sense as pretending collusion between a handful of creepy frail oligarchs shows the market at work.

Conglomerates are swell as long as they refuse to resist calls to destroy ideas condemned by the woke mob today. Heed the will of gleeful catty hall monitors sifting through interesting people’s social media looking for posts that indicate disagreement with their maniacal unsubstantiated takes. Lives are as full as they seem.

For people who could only name Joe McCarthy if asked to list historical senators, hunters of dissent sure learned his lessons. Destroying those who disagree with their de facto commie ideology both copies his methods and confirms his paranoia about subversion. They’re making their specter of a villain proud.

Digital artifacts of trying to fit in with trendy lunacy will soon be quietly deleted, so get screenshots now. Profile bios with Black Lives Matter hashtags and pronouns are as mortifying as watching the Full House reboot. Please don’t draw attention to those who went along with pernicious reality-defying trends using screenshots and cruel GIFs depicting laughing. Enjoy sitting at the cool lunch table while popularity lasts.