Type Be Negative
Everything sucks. I keep helpfully informing everyone. But offering a considered perspective leads to getting damned. I expect members of this dreadful species to reject truth despite being members of the only one capable of free will. Anyone still smiling is begging for disappointment.
We can at least bitch. Kvetching is healthy during the unhealthiest times. A one-star era is not just about leaving a crabby Yelp review because they included a butter knife with your pudding. Catharsis should be peaking.
The present situation calls for curmudgeonliness. It’s my Christmas. Will you sing punk carols with me? The perceptive feel like venting because that’s precisely what such woefulness demands. It’s exhausting as it is unwise to fight nature, including when such unnatural candidates are foisted upon us.
The cheery can sod off. Isn’t that fun to say? Venting is inspiring in its way. By contrast, ostensibly optimistic beings sure are inherently joyless. High expectations lead to crushed souls, especially in a world noted for its glaring constant imperfections.
This is a time of cognitive dissonance for stubbornly hopeful fools. The colossal mistake of thinking conditions will improve is a byproduct of thinking any politician will bring bliss, particularly the two in question. Irksomely positive humans who embrace awful things like sunrises and dewy meadows are surely tempted to unleash vitriol upon a planet that deserves it. This is your best time to have an excuse.
Professional gripers are responding to situations, which in this case means rejecting this world and everything it contains. The honest merely note that there’s not one worthwhile alternative amongst the two. It’d be one thing if there were a couple dozen possibilities and maybe eight of them were palatable. By contrast, the two-party system creates broad appeal by offering awful humans with generally terrible ideas.
Opposing opponents makes things easy to track. Hate whoever’s speaking no matter which one it is. Nominating the most horrifying contenders possible makes things easy to remember. You don’t even have to check a scorecard.
If you’re supporting a candidate, you’re doing it wrong. The policy is as easy as making money worthless. All you must do is print lots of it.
Binary political thinking is always wrong. That’s a better example. You don’t have to support herpes because gonorrhea is unpleasant. Some alleged guardians of properly-limited government hate Trump so much that they’ve aligned with a candidate who hates their beliefs. Can you feel the love?
There’s all the difference between opposing a Republican who’s not conservative, effective, or decent and endorsing his emblematically dimwitted pinko foe. The Chiefs/49ers Super Bowl was supposed to teach us to enjoy wing dip when there’s nobody palatable for whom to cheer.
This is a perfect time to learn avoiding the logical flaws inherent to defending one awful person by noting same person’s enemy is also awful. But simple narrative enthusiasts would rather bicker about whether it’s better to pay more taxes or tariffs. Stick to the contemporary operating procedure of responding to noting why one’s preferred candidate bites it with noting why the other one does, too. Nobody involved is about to find any positive quality to promote about one of these competitors.
It’s a relief to not have to pretend one side is terrific. Sure, the country is teetering on doom. But you don’t have to be linked to one of the specific purveyors. It’s better to be in the stands than on the field for this game.
Hate everything to feel the most alive. Axiomatic rejection is the most logical course when everything is hatable. The astute have been sensing that conditions are very wrong for some time, what with letting memes run policy. The affiliation urge leads to deciding which autocrat they want dominating them. The distinction comes down to either being bossed around by someone hugging an American or pride flag. The only thing worse than political tribalism is the tribes.
It never occurs to any major party presidential candidate that government could let someone other than itself make decisions. The election is nearly as rotten. Voters get a choice of a whole two lousy options, which is one more than federated providers offer. It’s little wonder political participants think it’s the free market that doesn’t meet needs when they’re obsessed with a process that provides choices that’d make Soviet supermarket patrons shake their heads with pity.
Life is easy after joining a cult. One person does the thinking for every member, which saves ample time for minions obeying commands. The only thing to remember is to despise your rivals with the intensity of a black hole and the maliciousness of Satan with a hangover.
At least a time of mutual oppression offers the chance for small acts of defiance that matter in a big way. You can declare what kind of person you are. After all, that’s what voting is, or at least should be. The chance to write in the amusing candidate of your dreams offers the prospect of subversion. Let’s see how many electoral votes “other” can get. The allegedly autonomous never even ponder the opportunity to back someone who’s name isn’t already printed.
The habitually miserable claim Earth is going to end so they can pleased when the aliens charge their Apocalypse Ray for the chance to be proven correct. But not being reflexively negative when everything is. The prime example of the two most appalling candidates imaginable couldn’t conform more to the outlook. I almost want to thank them for confirmation.
