Unimpressive Buffalo Bills Out of Tricks

Anthony Bialy
4 min readOct 1, 2024

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You occasionally have those wretched nights where you’re tired but can’t sleep and your brain helps you stay awake until alarm time by reminding you of everything that could ever go wrong. Next, try rushing the passer on 35 minutes of sleep. The Buffalo Bills were so haunted by insomnia that they let the worst case play out. A nightmare is what they get for staying up late Sunday night.

I didn’t know there was that much green space in Baltimore. The Ravens found all of it, as knowledge of local open areas is one of the perks of home-field advantage. Buffalo helped via a wholesale lack of pressure pressure, nonexistent tackling, and a zone soft enough that the Xtreme Discount Mattress guy could’ve spent a whole ad promoting it. The Bills sell their elite status for less: a lot less.

Buffalo’s best plays were Baltimore’s drops and fumbles. Don’t interrupt your enemy while he’s making mistakes just like Sun Tzu said. The Bills just needed the Ravens to commit seven or eight more. I yelled at Lamar Jackson to keep fumbling, but he clearly couldn’t hear me through the television.

Sean McDermott and Joe Brady can argue about who lost this. The underling will probably also lose the argument. Either way, they’re both guilty. The Bills looked as unprepared as they were overmatched. Is that a sign of quality coaching? The outcome was so bad that their side couldn’t be called competitive.

The Bills should get a defensive head coach. Wait: really? At least the offense was bad, too. That’s only two things to fix. McDermott was scared to use his timeouts before the half because he sees how he manages.

Is there time for another trick play? Adding a maddening moment created success if the Bills sought to torment their fans. Look at the franchise’s history and tell me it’s not at least possible. Cruelly yanking away hope just when there was a glimmer of it remains club policy.

There couldn’t have been a dafter time for goofy trickery. There’s surely no good time. But throwing away momentum right when the offense was finally working in order to

as badly as the Damar Hamlin fake punt. Baltimore could’ve made the call. Check the green dot helmets for signal infiltration.

There’s a whole game packed with style and strategy. Reading too much into one play can seem amateurish. That’s unless it was the particularly harebrained attempt to trick an astute Baltimore defense into buying. The magician knows where the rabbit is stored. The Bills blew it: ta-da! I’m jealous of the alternate timeline where the Bills ran their normal offense and reversed the game’s course.

Derrick Henry’s job is embarrassing the Bills. The alleged effort to stop him was so mortifying that I thought they brought back Josh Norman. Henry missed the inspirational pregame story about Hamlin coming back to life to start as he darted past the hapless safety along with everyone else.

The sense that the game was over after one play by the Ravens made the case to trust your instincts. On the plus side, the Bills were winning the time of possession battle after their foe managed a measly 12-second drive.

At least Keon Coleman’s jacket memes are hilarious. Bills fans aren’t laughing at his level of contributions. An infuriating drop at what could’ve been a turning point will not help the case that he was worth the draft weekend wait. This year’s ninth-leading rookie receiver would undoubtedly encourage everyone to notice his later receptions, which were great for Chris Paul so he doesn’t feel like the only one who helps after not helping. The one thing better than re-establishing trust is building it in the first place.

I waited all day for that. It was just like Carrie Underwood notes when she butchers a Joan Jett classic, so at least the theme song is ostensibly accurate. As with the American idler, the Bills were an impostor. Ed Oliver portrayed a defensive tackle without playing like one.

Wait until everyone’s looking to maximize embarrassment. The drama queen Bills plummeted when they got the most attention, which is a cunning plan if they want everyone to underestimate them and a dreadful one if they were trying to beat the Ravens.

Redemption requires screwing up first. Also, you have to do the opposite, which is tough with that whole competence thing. The Bills got the first part down perfectly. Getting dominated thoroughly can only feel worse if the vanquished party screwed up repeated legitimate plans to reform.

Botching every chance they had to reverse a dreadful affair is an extra aggravating way to end dreams of an undefeated season. Fans don’t need to anticipate winning every time to feel disappointment at the way the first loss unfolded. The sense the Bills were unable to seize control mirrored the uninspired play in every aspect. Henry is still running.

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