Win Office and Do Nothing

Doing nothing is easier. Give it a try for convenience, especially if your salary is funded by the unfathomable fortune you’ve taken from us. We’re paying for it and would prefer less action per hour, as politics are just like prostitution and also the exact opposite.

Sitting still beats what Joe Biden is doing. We get it: you’re a spry senior. Now try horseshoes instead of messing with the lives of those who often are much younger and are nearly universally more productive. Trusting humans to act rationally beats trusting this particular human to impose joy. Explaining that the Sun doesn’t disappear when it lands on the ground off in the distance kills most of the time between the president’s Dunkaroos break and comic book time.

There’s totally not inflation except for how prices keep increasing. Money’s worth the same; you can just buy less with it. Now, will you stop fighting economic logic? More expensive fuel and lumber is just the bonus of getting so much free cash. Paper towels suddenly being worth more than currency used to buy them is surely a coincidence, according to people who presume the government dictates every last blasted life aspect.

Leave it to go. Not interfering is the toughest impulse to control. Please listen to me about the endless virtues of slacking. If politicians were as unproductive as me, the truly useful could finally get going. Trusting individuals in general and this nation’s citizens in particular is as respectful as it is honorable. In case anyone forgot, this happens to be a country based on lawmakers being restricted by law. The urge to meddle is like opening an oven: you can’t gain any helpful information, and the cheesecake cracks.

People still have to work. I knew there was a catch. But those entrusted with caring for themselves should be able to do so unencumbered. Keeping what’s provided in exchange for toil is the payment for someone else not addressing your needs. Not being punished for the crime of making a purchase is a radical notion in a nation suddenly dedicated to thinking alleged earners should be thankful to retain any funds after gloriously toiling to fund collective dreams.

For being so good at running what we’re incessantly told is the most necessary part of life, politicians suck at buying things. Crummy roads and awful schools are the one thing separating civilization from descending into a zombie hellhole, which is why we must be willing to pay a premium. I bet I could get a better deal on infrastructure than Joe Biden. I wait to buy Doritos until they’re on sale for reasons greater than fitness.

As the guy who vigorously pushed orphans into traffic showed, action does not necessarily create worthwhile results. The desire for government to idle is not about strong versus weak, as the Trump lackey obsession continues indefinitely. The whiniest tough guy, weakest strongman, and biggest failure of a success inspires a stubborn refusal to distinguish between forceful action and whether or not it’s worthwhile.

Dropping a bus from a cliff makes a strong impact, so it must be good. Value judgments are as incomprehensible to those obsessed with overcompensating in the same way they can’t grasp the difference between good and bad attention. Trying to appear muscular with federal overreach is totally not overcompensation as much as it is very conservative. A patriotic hue means a wholly different style of government is ruining your life.

Everyone who thinks they know best feels an insatiable urge to meddle. Getting to do so by law is an absolute sign of confidence. The innate pomposity involved in any politician thinking people don’t know how to address their own needs is only surpassed by how atrociously government performs when it tries to step in. Considering how they are monumentally dreadful at every last thing, shoving you into place is particularly inappropriate.

The only way to make incessant unilateral intervention into the lives of people who deserve to be unbothered worse is to be so awful at it that spending one’s own funds is preferable. Anything without options sucks by nature. The innately monopolistic nature merely gets worse when mentally uncoordinated statists decide they’re going to organize life for is.

We’re all going to cooperate by choice, claim those plotting to impose it by force. The dream of massive-government goons must be presented gently, which certainly guarantees its effectiveness. Federal bullies never get one of their own elected honestly, as their sales pitches are as truthful as their policies.

It’s no wonder those who lie constantly about their products distrust businesses. Barack Obama daring to pretend he was a calm uniter embodied chilling phoniness. Now, we cope with his underling who can be manipulated by American pinkos due to his pushover personality exacerbated by how he was born when France decided to let Germany kindly run their affairs.

Sophisticated humans always expect government to do something. The reflex may not quite be why we have one in the first place. Presume the solution requires a politician’s intervention to ensure the problem never disappears.

This is supposed to be an entire country based on telling others to sod off. It’s no wonder those who presume Washington should interfere loathe its principles. Anyone sad enough to conclude politicians are the one essential element makes life a chore for everyone else, too. They won’t leave America alone any more than they’ll leave Americans alone.

Cranky as a lifestyle choice.